Daughter of Troops

Me, again?

2011-08-29T19:44:00.000-07:00

Today I changed my social security and my driver's license back to my maiden name.

I'm cutting all ties with my former life. Someone said, "Oh, you get to be you again."

I've always been me, but today I'm a different me. I ran across some pictures a doctor took of me when I was abused some 20 years ago. The outer marks are long gone with no evidence of their existence. God has healed as much of the inner marks as I have allowed. I cannot go back and change the past few years, they are as much a part of me as today was. I can't go back and reclaim the "me" I was supposed to be. I can only move forward and be the "me" of today. Today I move forward with new insight and new victories in overcoming obstacles that kept me from being the best me possible. Today I purpose to be closer to God. I'm through with being pushed back and I am pressing on into the Upper Court in Christ. I have love to share, wisdom to share and God has made me a new creation. Not perfect, Chosen! In my broken-ness He alone makes me whole. There is much to learn. Today I am repositioned and God will launch me to new heights .

Martha Munizzi does this great song called 'Break Through". Some of the lyrics say "I can see a new day dawning, I can see break through coming. Joy comes in the morning, Break through, break through." This is a new season for me. Parts of it seem familiar, but this time is different. This time I'm engaging in the battle with the Lord. I am going to fight back, take back and push back and come back all without looking back!

New Season

2011-07-31T07:34:00.000-07:00

Time is going by so fast, this season is at an accelerated pace. The Lord is dealing with me on several levels. I 'm just coming out of a season of waiting and moved into a season of empowerment. The Lord told me to quit disqualifying myself . God is so good and I'm so happy to be back on the right road again. Dang, what a detour!

Kevin finally agreed to sign the divorce decree and pay a very small amount towards the very large credit card debt. I know that God will continue to be faithful and meet all my needs. The house is the next thing that needs to be dealt with. I just proclaim that it will sell in this new month.

It is 162 days today until the cruise. I am so excited about it. God's face has surely shined upon me.

My journey to better health is well under way. I start walking with a friend tomorrow and incorporating the dreaded E (exercise) word into my life. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

1 Corinthians 9:17 " For if I do this thing willingly, I have a reward..."

All of my living comes when all my dying makes a path. Isn't that good? Yes it is.

2011-06-19T13:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, on the way to Abilene from Baird it began to sprinkle here and there but nothing to even turn my wipers on. I went to Wal-Mart on my way home to grab a few items I needed. I spent quiet a bit of time searching out my items and getting them into my basket. I went back to lawn and garden to check out and there was a line but not like the ones inside the store. I waited behind a couple whose little boy kept pretending to shoot me. I played along and acted as though I felt the shot and grabbed my chest in pain. He was thrilled and dragged out his other hand for a double shot. I wanted to pull out my play gun and say now what, but he was young and I didn't want to make him cry. lol

All that being said, the wind began to pick up and soon it was like a tornado was above us. Pots and plants and wind chimes were hurled around the area. Dirt and debre were flying into out hair and eyes. Little Junior John Wayne was now crying and his mom was freaking out . There was thunder and lightening and then the power went out. I was next in line. It powered back up in time for the family in front of me to check out and leave. I piled my things onto the counter and waited to leave; dreading the run to the car in the pouring rain. Then another thunderous crack and the power went out again. I waited and waited and waited. Finally the manager came back and said power was out because a transformer was hit and they would not be able to ring up our purchases. I couldn't believe it I spent all that time picking out just the right items, searching the aisles and harvesting them into my basket and now I had to walk away with nothing. But with head hanging I did so. As I left I saw two women in the parking lot loading their trunk with potted plant that had blown onto the the parking lot.

.. Any how, I went home defeated. The weird thing is that because I had the items in my basket, when I came home I actually was looking for one item. Even though I didn't buy it and bring it home, I held it in my hand therefore it seemed like I had it. Today I had to go but the items I needed but I went to a different store that was closer to home and paid more for them.

The Holy Spirit said how many times have my people done just what you did. They left my Presence too soon. The leader dismissed services or at home something distracts them. Why didn't you go to the other Wal-Mart? Why didn't you return there today? You walked away beat and defeated, you invested your time and weren't able to get what you came for so you went home empty handed (or empty hearted). Break through was so close you felt like you had it, but you didn't. You left too soon, You only saw a shadow of what was to come and you stopped short of the fullness of My Glory.

I have purchased all that you need , find me and you will be satisfied, find me and I will fill your heart as you spend your time seeking me. Quit peering out the window at what others have. Step out, get what I have for you. It will not look like what others have, it was picked especially for you. Don't leave defeated, push... your so close.

So it is suffice to say that I'm going shopping, but I'm gonna be seated in the basket like little John Wayne was safe in my Father's arms. He has everything I need, I'm not going back I'm moving ahead, the past is over. Break through is imminent!

New Day

2011-05-11T07:59:00.000-07:00

A lot has happened in the month since I last blogged. I left Kevin and filed for divorce. It was very hard to do and required the most intense focus I have ever experienced in my life. I'm dealing with a lot of emotional things right now. Some I did not expect. I never expected to miss him, but I do. The Lord reminded me of when I had major surgery a few years ago, it was so painful and left me vulnerable and in the hospital for 3 long weeks. I thought the pain would never go away and the wound would never heal. The Lord told me at the time that one day I woud look back on this time and soon it would be a memory. It is now. There are times that I feel little (sometimes BIG) pains from the surgery area. Most times they pass quickly but on occasion they do linger for a few days. Nevertheless they end. All that to say, so will this pain. It is temporary and will soon be gone. Life will be differant, better, and it will go on. I am discovering strengths that I have had all along, but the enemy distorted my mind and had me believing they were weaknesses. He is a liar! I'm thankful for new beginnings and new mercies. I am certain I will feel other emotions here and there. but praise God they too will pass. I am not defined by my feelings, I am defined by the Almighty who says I am an overcomer, by the blood of Jesus and the word of my testimony. I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me! I am free forever from condemnation and I'm getting better everyday at recognizing it. God sent an army of His Troops to help me out of the trap I was tangled up in. He has my back. I have been redeemed and forgiven of ALL my sins and the Precious, powerful Holy Spirit dwells within me. Like Jennifer Hudson sings for Weight Watchers, " It's a new day, it's a new dawn and I'm feeling good"

Do not be deceived

2011-04-09T20:48:00.000-07:00

Do not be deceived, "Evil company corrupts good behavior. Awake to righteousness, and do not sin; for some do not have the knowledge of God.

1 Corin. 15:33-34a

Proof that I am influenced by people around me, whether good or bad.

I must keep my eyes steady on the course in order to win this race.

I will overcome!

Guard my heart O'Lord.

It is written!

2011-04-04T17:41:00.000-07:00

April, 04, 2011

I want to start by saying God is so good. So much has happened. I have witnessed so many people go home to be with the Lord at the hand of cancer. God has ended their suffering. In doing so He leaves behind the next generation to carry out His great plans.

I'm still in Joshua and am learning that many fought and died and passed that inheritance on to the next generation. I have repositioned myself as I felt the Lord allowed me to. Things certainly look different from a new vantage point. The air is more clear and fresh and crisp from here. Although I must admit I've gotten a few cuts and bruises in the climb; however, it was well worth it!

I have taken back some ground and have much more to take back. Some of it is not even a matter of fighting for it, but simply taking what is already mine. I did tell Kevin that I loved him but also hated him. He was encouraged because he said there is still a chance because I do love him.

My words fall upon deaf ears. He of course has done a 180 degree turn and is syrupy sweet and ever so helpful. It was real easy for a moment to become somewhat complacent. Then I even started feeling mean because of the way I still feel even though he was being nice. I started hearing Kevin as he told me that we have been through too much together and needed to stay together. I began to let the enemy tell me how many times I have left and gone back. And how God was so disappointed in me and tried of my disobedience. I do know that Kevin's kindness

is momentary and will cease as soon as he feels in control again.

Today I was reading in Joshua and found my sword to use on that emotion. In chapter 14 Caleb is speaking to Joshua, 11 "As yet, I am as strong as on the day that Moses sent me; just as my strength was then, so now is my strength for war, both for going out and for coming in. " 12"Now therefore, give me this mountain of which the Lord spoke in that day for you heard in that day how the Anakim were there, and that the cities were great and fortified. It may be that the Lord will be with me, and I shall be able to drive them out as the Lord said.

This freedom is my promised land and I will continue to fight until VICTORY is pronounced. It has been too long, but I'm stronger thenever and I will not give up.

What the enemy is telling me is mean I read in chapter 11:20 speaking of Joshua

"For it was of the Lord to harden their hearts that they should come against Israel in battle that He might utterly destroy them, and that they might receive no mercy; but that He might destroy them as the Lord had commanded Moses."

I do know that God loves Kevin and has plans for him. But now I understand that I cannot "fix" him. God wants me to hand him over and move on. The relationship must be utterly destroyed so that I can love free in the promised land. I know there is so much more for me. My goodness, Joshua and Moses had already destroyed 31 kings and they still were not done.

It is written, "how long Rhonda (Good spear, powerful river, reborn, anointed one to name a few) will you neglect to go and possess the land which the Lord God of your father's has given you?" Joshua 18:3

Phase #1

2010-12-26T07:45:00.000-08:00

Well my kids just left for home. I always cry because I love them so much, I love being a mom! This has been a really great Christmas. We spent a lot of time just enjoying each other, playing games, talking, sharing our lives. It took our being relational to remind me I need to be more relational with God. I have gotten very relaxed and lazy in spending time with my Father. This holiday has in many ways been a reflection of the past 25 plus years of my life. I have made many bad decisions in my life. I'm not going to pound myself in the ground . God told me this year my Word is "GRACE" I need to embrace it. I have to have balance with it too, no pie in the sky stuff. Be real.

I've made some vows in my head, I've made some decisions, in my head. That is the problem, they are in my head and I have not committed to any of them. I need a plan that I can be okay with and this is where it gets hard because I also have to trust God for the things I cannot figure out. So okay, I guess I'm gonna put this in print, that is risky because it is out loud, but here goes. I'm not going to stay in this marriage. Sometimes it takes being around people that are living to realize that you are not!

Someone recently told me that Kevin was like a cancer. That really hit home since I'm well aware of the devastation Cancer can cause. Cancer sucks the life out of you, it feeds on your life sustaining blood until you have no life. I'm not comparing my dilemma to those that have fought the disease, my situation does not compare to the pain and hard work of the heros that have and are fighting it. But Kevin takes any joy I have and eats it. He sucks the air out of a room. He is the most selfish person I have ever known in my life . Leaving again entails a lot of things. I still have to make a house payment. He will not leave until the sheriff sets him out and they will probably have to arrest him. Once he knows it's over the whole house payment will be up to me. It is my credit on the line and I have worked really hard to establish it.

Regardless though I need a plan, I need to start with the emotional aspect and get some Christian leadership involved. I have isolated myself and I need to knock down that wall. Next week I'm back in church. That is priority number 1. From there I'm not sure. I know I will have to sell the house and I'm totally okay with that but I fear the market will not support that decision. Anyhow, just some random venting.

Task #1: Back to church and back in life group

#2: Establish relationships with Godly people

#3: Seek counseling with Cindy and become accountable

This is phase#1 . I'm not sure how long it will take, but the important thing is that I get on the road. Time to put on the whole Armor of God and get out my big girl boots!

Lion's Den

2010-11-28T18:00:00.000-08:00

I was just reading some of my older posts. How sad that some things have not changed. I'm still extremely sad over the loss of my mother and my sister. I'm still battling demons of oppression . I'm still crying about my weight and feeling helpless to do anything about it.

I am overwhelmed!

I am so unhappy with many aspects of my life.

I am literally at war within myself. Why do I do the things I don't want to do? Paul wrote that for me. As I turned to God in despair after dinner, I felt impressed to go get my old Bible, the one that is worn and has been to hell and back with me. I opened it up in Genesis and found this highlighted area in Chapter 4 v6 "Why are you so angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."

Now isn't that just like God. He is so amazing. This is difficult because I have once again positioned myself in a corner and built walls so that I'm alone. But, I have been here before and so I know there is eventually a way out. Dear Lord, please help me to get out. I know you will never leave me and I believe you are my strength. I need a fresh anointing. Deliver me O'God from the mouth of the lion that is trying to devour me.

I love the holidays

2009-11-24T08:18:00.000-08:00

I just love the holidays. I've got my pink peds, I'm ready for the race The fast paced step this season brings. The smell of cinnimon is in the air and I know that the man in the suit is very near. What's that familiar noise I hear? Like tiny hooves swishing through the air. I peek out the door and grin ear to ear It's him, it's him; he's oh so near I just love this time of year! His suit is crisp and clean and snug Come closer and let me give you a hug He bring me gifts and never makes a mess Yep it's him, the man from U.P.S. Oh. your suprised? Don't go into shock He wears those little brown short and makes them rock I just love the holidays!

Ramblin' Rose

2009-11-03T06:33:00.000-08:00

Today I'm dealing with a ton of pain. My heart is breaking . I cannot or don't want to believe that my sister is dead. I know she is with Jesus and that she no longer suffers, but I'm selfish and I want to talk to her. Who will I talk to when I say remember the time when we were little and mamma....... No one could relate to that but her or my brother. We had a really rough life growing up and due to our own choices adult life was often hard too. She doesn't have to struggle any more, I wonder does she still make decisions or have choices?

What will the holidays look like? I cannot possibly fill the shoes or her and mother, although I know I'll try. It will never ever be the same. I want to be healthy, I don't want to leave my son to deal with this mess of emotions that comes with this kind of loss. I cried out to my Savior, the only One that can and will help me. Jesus, I need you more than ever, please comfort me, hold me, ease my pain, remove the hurt, help me to live for real and not just fake it. I'm tired of telling everyone that I'm okay when they ask. I'm not okay! I'm sad beyond anything you could imagine, I'm frustrated that I cannot fix this or change it. I'm angry that she died and mean people live. Don't get me wrong, I don't want anyone to die, but if you looking for candidates I could name a few seemingly useless people. The funeral is tomorrow and I dread it so much, her husband's family will be there. they are loud people and have there share of drama queens and kings. I had to deal with them at the hospital and it was difficult. Anyhow, just was to ramble a bit.

pain

2009-09-13T18:21:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I've blogged. Not that I haven't had things to write about. Actually it is because there is so much I have felt overwhelmed. I was thinking about my brother, DeWayne and how his death came suddenly, without warning. It was shocking and we were forced to deal with it immediately. And mom, it was such a quick transition from being diagnosed with cancer and then death taking her. Both are hard things to go through emotionally. With my brother, there was no hope, no prayer could change it. It was final and I didn't get to vote. There were a lot of questions and there will never be any answers. With Mom, we had hope in God to heal her. She didn't want to live and prayed for God to take her home. He did, despite my pleas... Now, it is final and nothing can change it.

My sister is still fighting. She is the bravest person I have ever known in all my life. I again have hope that she will be healed and live a long and prosperous life. When my eyes gaze at her in the natural it is hard to hang onto that hope. Faith says I do not believe by my sight. My emotional battle is nothing to compare to what my brother, my mom, or my sister have battled, but dang..I'm hurting. God sends His love through friends that call to pray and ask if they can help in any way. I love my friends !

I feel like this is too hard to keep on going and yet I know, if not for God I could never have withstood any of this.

A friend told me that God had appointed and anointed me to be in this position for my family. Again, I didn't get to vote. I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself or get sympathy from anyone, I just want to be real and say even Super Christians have pain. I don't always want to use my super hero cape to fly, sometimes I want to cover my head with it like Frodo and become invisible to the enemy. I don't want to watch my dad, my son, or my nephew hurt. I want so badly to fix this. That's what I do and I'm rendered helpless. It's like I'm screaming but no noise is coming out. I'm not Moses standing at the Red Sea with staff in hand opening up a way of escape. My emotions make me feel like a fake Christian, where is my faith? Please don't beat me over the head with the Bible, there are dozens of scriptures I can fill in blanks with, they're all good and all God. I'm not back sliding I just wanted to give a voice.

renewal

2009-08-29T08:08:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since my last blog, but I have had a lot going on. I just got through reading Bill Johnson's Supernatural Transformation of the mind for the third time. Each time God reveals more to me and I just "get it". I thank God for them.

God reminded me that he told me break through is eminent ! I am trying to meditate on the Word more and walk in His Spirit & truth until it is a natural thing for me. Stephanie borrowed the book so we will be climbing buddies through this area. I thank God for her and our friendship

Princess Party 2009

2009-06-06T09:40:00.000-07:00

Katie Kylie Kylie, Alexis, Ashton, Taylor, Katie Alexis Ashton Taylor The Princess Party was fabutastic (my new word). The girls had such a good time and God sent just the right volunteers to get the job done! We used some different worship music this time and the girls were able to move into the Presence of The Father. Ashton came to me and said she felt tears in her eyes during worship. I told her that was because she was in the Presence of our Great God and that is how how soul was responding to it. I encouraged her to go deeper and she did. She later said her whole body felt emptied out except for just the goodness of God. Only God can make you feel that way. We made an exception this year and let a four year old join in, I wish you all could have seen her during worship... she closed her little eyes and was totally oblivious to anyone around her. She was dancing with her Daddy and it was beautiful. They were so excited to line up and make their commitment to God and get their tiaras. Kylie (the 4 year old) called it her "tie-ra-rah" and

a "tie-rarus" ...too cute!

Each one of these girls made God smile last night, He was pleased with their worship. Alexis is a tomboy, but that girl can dance in the Spirit unlike any of the others. Taylor is like a sponge and is very sensitive to the needs of others. These children are not like other kids, they are God chasers. I can't wait for the boys first ever Pirate Party next week. Here's some pics to enjoy

2009-05-26T19:20:00.000-07:00

Today when I got to work there was a message on the answering machine. A customer proceeds to go on and on with profanity tucked in between every two or three words about his anger at us because his #$%@ gate code will not work and how mad he is at us that we lied because he is not able to get in after office hours and blah, blah, blah.

I reviewed the gate reports and sure enough he tried to get in, but he was putting in the wrong code , he was one number off. I love it when it's not our fault. I promptly returned his call and said "hello, this is Rhonda at Stor & Lok and I understand you had a problem with your code over the weekend" (snickering under my breath) Yes I did and so did another car but they got it to work and then my code started working. "Yes Mr. @#$& I noticed on my code report that when you used the right code it began to work. " He began to clear his throat and then profusely apologize for the foul message he left proclaiming he was just so angry. I said it was okay and I'm glad he figured it out and was able to get in. He then said promise you will forgive me?

OF Course, 100%.

I could see myself in his shoes, I bet right after he realized he was using the wrong code and had already left that message he felt very small and regretful. I have been there and hastily remarked and reacted to things before thinking them through. Thankfully there is grace and God forgives me 100%, even when I'm 100% wrong. (thanks Pastor)

Reconciliation letter to the church

2009-04-18T14:18:00.000-07:00

We need one another. We are created to have relationship with one another. God Himself created man to have relationship with and we being made in His image have this innate yearning to belong. The Bible calls us ministers of reconciliation. The word reconciles means to reestablish, restoring relationship better than it was before. 2 Corinthians 5:17-21

I had a brief opportunity to restore a relationship with my mother before she passed away. I think I grew to love her more the last month of her life than I had in my entire adult life. So, how do we do that? How can you be restored to someone who has brought you great pain? Here it goes, it’s profound! “Do not count men’s sins against them.” It is so easy to wallow in our own pain and get covered in bitterness, disgust, hate for the acts of another person. How many times have I said how could you, I would never do that.

I become the judge and I forgot that Jesus took all judgments on the cross.

I have repented, but I must confess it is difficult to forgive myself and I have a bitter taste left in my mouth.

I am ready to move forward now and commence with teaching children the Word of God. I have a new outlook and a fervent desire to go beyond what we have known and been taught about relationship with Christ. I’m ready to break ground and I’m excited about the possibilities that lie within each of us.

I keep hearing a song that reminds me of the ultimate relationship with the Father. It’s by Misty Edwards

It's You and me alone God You and me alone

Here it's You and me alone God You and me alone

You've hedged me in with skin all around me

I'm a garden enclosed a locked garden

Life takes place behind the face.

So come into Your garden

Come into Your garden.

Here O Lord! Have I prepared a place for You!

I'm no longer my own I'm Your garden

I don't want to wasted my time living on the outside

I'm going to live from the inside out

I don't want to waste my life living on the outside

I'm going to live from the inside out

Remember, there’s life in the back!

Love Rhonda

Saturday, April 18, 2009

mom

2009-03-27T19:06:00.000-07:00

Today is a very sad day for our family. Mother passed away this morning. Yesterday she had a bad reaction to some pain meds and that was horrible. I did not recognize her as she lay there . She could see her grandmother and she was asking her to help her. She kept saying help me

grand-momma. She was also calling for her own momma. She would grab mine and Susan's hand and say make "holly golly go away." We figured out she was talking about the pain. We told it to leave and she agreed it needed to go. She was very child like and I believe she was a little girl in her mind. I thank God for letting me see the innocence of her youth. She looked so sweet at times and would just smile so big. Her smile was truly captivating. Today Susan and I got to be with her as she passed from this world. We know she is in heaven right now. That is price less to know that she is saved. I will miss her ! She was the best mother she could be and I'm glad she gave me life. She had an inner strength to take care of things even when she did not feel like it. Susan and I have that strength. We are sisters through and through. We will march forth with this family and carry on old traditions and make some new ones as we go. That's all my mind can release right now.

2009-03-23T18:34:00.000-07:00

My mind is so bogged down with thoughts that I'm not even sure were to begin. I am OVERWHELMED !

Issue # 1 Today the doctor recommended mom for Hospice care. They came in and basically told me how to prepare for her death, how to say good bye. I cannot wrap my mind around that right now. She is saved and has peace with God, but it's not fair. I'm clinging to hope for the life of a woman that I built so many walls around my whole life. I've blamed her for a lot of things that I became as I grew up. I have ask her to forgive me and she does and so does God but I'm sick with anguish over the whole situation. I saw myself feeling this way about dad. Now the way I sometimes feel about dad are unfamiliar. Did I ever really know my parents ? A lot of times I was mad at mother for certain things and felt like she was being difficult, sometimes she was but now I know sometimes she was covering for dad. Protecting his saintly persona. Just like me and just like Susan have done in our own marriages. It is so ironic that I spent my life trying to make sure I was to the farthest extreme of different from her as I could possibly be and yet I was so much the same in some areas. It seems like someone else's life and not mine.

Issue # 2 my finances are out of sync. Enough said on that subject

Issue # 3 Am I significant?

Issue # 4 My weight, my big, fat friggin weight problem !! I don't even know where to begin because I'm so overwhelmed. What diet plan, how can I do this, when will I exercise, this seems impossible because I have so much to lose. I have cried out and ask for help so many times that now I'm embarrassed . I feel like such a failure. I want to live, I want to be healthy, I want to buy "normal" size clothes and have more than 2 pair of pants. I loath myself when it comes to this topic !

Issue # 5 I cry a lot and about anything

Issue # 6 Do I still belong at Bethel ? I'v waited so long for them to reach out to me. Today someone responded to an e-mail and offered their support. I love to teach Children's church, but I want to do more out reach. I want to use buses and bring these kids in. Is Bethel the place to do that ?

Issue # 7 Too many issues

Issue's # 8, 9, and 10... did I mention my weight? I want/ need a treadmill

mouth full of sand.

2009-03-06T18:32:00.000-08:00

I was thinking today about how I have been feeling lately. I got a visual of an ocean and I'm standing on the beach. I want to escape so I run as hard as I can towards the ocean .My speed and momentum take me out quite a ways then as I slow down I realize I am walking on quicksand not water and now I'm really far into it and cannot make my way back to the sand. I feel completely out of control of my life. I need a life line before I'm in over my head.

random topics

2009-02-22T17:27:00.000-08:00

God has been pouring some things into me these past two weeks. Some I haven't quite pulled together, other things are crystal clear. I've made some decisions in my life that were not always the will of God, some things I tried to fix myself because we all know how intelligent I am. (right?) I have a habit of believing that I have messed things up so much that God will no longer need or want me around. I try to fix it and it often ends up worse. I felt I had broken my relationship with God because of 1. marrying Kevin, 2. taking time off from children's church, 3. having some bitterness over my life where my parents are concerned and just not spending enough time doing religious things (I'm totally being sarcastic here). I have repented . A few days ago I told the Lord I was soooo sorry for breaking our relationship, He spoke one word to me, "fractured" . Okay, lets look at that word, it is a form of being broken, but a fracture is still attached, it is fragile and needs care while healing, The Greek word schizo means to split or break open. These wounds can be healed.

Next He was speaking to me about the way I am praying for my husband to be saved. I am not being "violent" in my prayers and taking things by force. He said some beasts cannot be tamed and must be slain. He showed me how people take animals from the wild and try to make them into domestic pets. Many times these animals turn on their owners. You cannot tame what is innate ! Evil must be conquered, not controlled. Destroy it! (spiritually speaking of course).

Last night I dreamed that I was in a large room and many people were praising God. It was very crowded. I looked across the room and there was a woman with her arm raised praising the Lord. Her hand was glowing red like it was hot. I knew she had the gift of healing and I ran to her and grabbed her arm and placed it on my chest. Her entire hand went inside of my body and it was as though I exploded. Every part of me felt alive and on fire in a good way. I said I want it all. Then I began to dance all over the room . I was totally submersed in the Spirit. Kevin came over and began to dance with me (he doesn't dance in the natural), he wanted it too. Kids were running to me wanting to know what I was doing, feeling ect...

My last dream was my mom taking me to a store to shop, they made us remove our shoes at the door. Once inside I told my mom I had to go to the bathroom (those who know me know that I always have to go ) when I got in there it was filthy , it looked as though the room had been spray painted with poo. I really had to go so I began putting paper towels on the floor so I wouldn't get it on my feet and I grabbed another huge handful to wipe off a toilet seat. I was frustrated and I said Lord, I really need to go and I can't clean this up. He said, "Exactly Rhonda, you keep trying to clean up the mess and I will do that. I just want you to go, just go!" This was more than just a dream, God was really speaking to me. He is so awesome !

Please pray for my family. Mom is still in the hospital and she cannot walk, dad is sinking into depression and my sister and I are tired.

Fragrance

2009-01-11T19:18:00.000-08:00

Today church was so good. We were instructed to invite God to speak. The first time I heard Him say, "I love you". I so need to hear that over and over again. After the teaching, we waited again to hear from God. He is so faithful. There are times when I feel like I'm not effective in my walk and at times I have thought what is the use because this person doesn't "get it" and I sometimes act the way he would understand instead of the way my heart desires. I'm not sure if that makes sense. Anyhow, God spoke to me this morning and said Rhonda, you know that Kevin buys you perfume to wear because he likes the way it smells, but when you wear it he rarely acknowledges that you have it on. And sometimes other people will say what is that perfume your wearing, it smells so good and you think to yourself that you can't even smell it. Well, that is what it is like to walk in the ways of the Lord, maybe you don't notice it but others do. Just because he doesn't tell you he smells the perfume doesn't mean he doesn't smell it. Remember, I Am the Rose of Sharon and to walk in my Presence is like wearing a sweet smelling perfume. When you praise me it is like a sweet smelling fragrance to my nostrils and I take notice.

God is so good and always says things so simple that I can understand it. I hope the perfume of His presence soaks into my skin and cleanses away all the fleshly things that remain on me.

New Year

2008-12-30T13:16:00.000-08:00

Well, Christmas came and went. Chris came down and we had a wonderful visit and met Walker, the new grand dog. This has been a year of up's and downs, Thankfully more ups. My sister is saved and healed in the name of Jesus. Her hair is already growing back and will be even more beautiful then when it left ! My parents, well..I'll get back to that one. I got remarried in July to the man I married 20 years ago and divorced after 12 years . It was the right thing to do both times ! I have a beautiful new home and I'm happy. I'm ready for some changes in 2009...mainly with getting myself healthy!!! God revealed some things in my heart to get it healthy spiritually. I'm going to let go of bitterness, resentment and disappointment. I'm going to quit reopening old wounds and set free those I've held hostage in my emotional prison. God reminded me that I have the keys and the authority to open and close any door necessary. I'm ready to let God meet my needs instead of waiting for certain people to meet expectations that they are incapable of meeting. I'm also going to repent and quit trying to be God and meet the needs of others that only god can meet.

Why

2008-12-23T07:47:00.000-08:00

A few thoughts I've been pondering....... Why do people pull out at an inter section. look and see me headign their direction and wait till I'm almost at their spot to pull out in front of me. Is it more challenging to them to see how close a casr can get without getting hit? Why is it that when there are two lanes and one is ending and I need to merge the person next to me takes it as a personal challange to keep me from merging in front of him/her ? Why have I found my hand in the windshield forming the "L" (for loser) with my fingers more this month then in my entire life combined ? Why is it that when I call certain people, regardless of how long it's been since I've called or what time it is, they always act annoyed that i've bothered them? Why do I allow people to manipulate me ? Why are people so mean? Why do I post these stupid blogs that no on responds to? (Except for Cyndee)

Want List

2008-11-25T07:36:00.000-08:00

I read some other blogs with want lists. It got me to thinking about what I want . so just for the sake of blogging, here is my want list: 1. Kevin to be a man of God....sold out for the kingdom 2. My son to return fully to God....to have a yearning for the ways of the Father 3. My sister complely healed..no more chemo! 4. My parents to be healed and made whole 5. My nephew's return from Iraq 6. My extended family members saved 7. The fire I have for the Father to become a raging, ravenous flame 8. Stor & Lok to prosper 9. Frank & Louis saved 10. I ask for the nations 11. My body and mind to be healthy 12. Fat gone from my body 13. To be debt free 14. A baby 15. Joy 16. My teeth fixed 17. Conatcts, better yet, my vision healed 18 A treadmill 19. An Apple computer and an IPhone 20. To win the 96 million lottery jackpot!

Destination Excellance

2008-11-15T09:33:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Kevin and I went to Ft. Worth for the day. While I was in the shower I just began to thank God for things that would come to my mind. After a few moments I was over joyed in praising Him and I sang a love song in the Spirit to Him. It was so beautiful and I am in awe of the Holy Spirit and His wonderous love of the Father. Afterwards I was sitting at the vanity area putting on my makeup and I was still very much in the presence of God. The Holy Spirit prompted me to pray and prophesy. It was so powerful, I was weeping uncontrolably and proclaiming healing and freedom and victory and salvation for differant people. I don't think I have ever prayed that way. The Holy Sprit can say things I certainly could never think of. This went on for about 20 minutes. Afterwords I felt such a peace and a release of supernatural confidence came on me. As I thanked Him I heard a noise in the closet and then I heard Kevin say Amen. lol We have a large walkin closet and he had been in there looking for some cd's to take on the trip. I never heard a peep out of him. He opened the door and wanted to know why I was crying when I was speaking with God . I explained that they were tears of joy because I was in the presence of God and I felt so honored and blessed that He loved us so much. He left the room as though he understood. Then on the trip the Lord was sending me some messages. Kevin was playing a cd and a couple of the songs were "broken hearted love lost songs" and the lyrics were so depressing and about wanting to die ect. I don't know how to explain it really but I knew the enemy was trying to steal my morning blessing and so I began (in my mind) to proclaim God's Word; after a moment it was as if I could feel the songs words repel off of my brain. (weird huh) Then I heard the Lord say "IMPENETRABLE". I pondered it and feel like the Lord was showing me that in that area my mind is a fortess unable to be penetrated. During my praise time that was something I proclaimed powerfully that I am His temple and His Garden. I'm so excited. Anyhow, the next thing that caught my attention was a bill board. I don't know what it was advertising or what the picture or context was I only saw 2 words "STAY CLOSE" . I felt comforted . Later in the day I got behind an 18 wheeler. The writing on the truck said "DESTINATION EXCELLANCE" Another clue...I know the Lord is taking me on a new journey and He is showing me how to finish this leg of the race and lead me into excellance. Two weeks ago the Lord gave me a word through a couple at KLF and said "New Beginning". That's what this is. I love Jesus so much and I'm excited to still be in the race and gaining ground with a steadfast pace

Justice with a "P"

2008-11-12T08:53:00.000-08:00

About this time last year I adopted a rat terrier named Haley. She brings me so much joy most of the time. Kevin has a fox terrier named Casey. She is about 15 years old and is completely deaf. There is the usual sibling rivalry between the two. The power struggle for who will be the pack leader is clearly won by Haley. She has to be the first in and out the back door, the first to get her dinner bowl and her treat. Casey willingly submits and is just content on getting her dues whether she's first or not. Haley is so jealous any time she thinks Casey is getting more attention. She has stooped (squatted) to a new level and will occasionally pee on the floor to mark her territory. I'm glad God made people differant and we can just use permanent markers to write our names on our stuff. Any how, like I was saying, it isn't often but she has earned a reputation . She usually pees in front of the bedroom door or the hall entrance to keep Casey from entering those areas. There have been a few times however that the M.O. was differant and I felt Haley was blamed unjustly. Well, yesterday I came home for lunch and like usual I first take the dogs out back. While I'm outside Kevin arrives home for his lunch break. When I came back in he said, "what is that on the floor". I know what that seemingly harmless phrase means and I hung my head in dread of hearing the #$%* that always follows the discovery of anything out of order. (I think to myself... I hate you! Not really.) He said there is a trail of pee leading from the recliner to the back door. In my best defense lawyer mode I proclaim Haley's innocence. She was at the front door when I arrived and she leaves lakes, not drops. He shakes his head convinced he is right and says NO, Casey would never do such a thing. Between you and me, she has on occasion, but dare I remind him of that . Not now at least. He goes over to THE COUCH.... the one he bought with his on money when we weren't together, the one that he keeps covered with a sheet to protect the cushions from Casey laying on it., the one Haley cannot get on by herself and is banned from sitting on. ah yes, that couch. As he runs his hand over the sheet to remove the wrinkles ....well it all happened so fast the #$%$&, the look on his face, the sheet flying in the air, the cushions being tossed. His beloved perfect Casey had peed on that couch. OMG (insert a picture of me doing the touchdown dance). Right now I'm laughing so hard I may have peed,on myself .. ha ha ha . It was very difficult to maintain a look of empathy and shock on my face while inside I'm celebrating the proof of my dog's innocence. I said oh no, I'm sorry, just leave it, go eat your lunch and I'll clean it. Inside I was saying HA, I told you. What now? "Who let the dogs out ...who who who who you know the song. The truth has set my Haley free, at least this time. I could already see her newspaer ad: "Wanted, family without other pets, must have carpet" Thank God for Woolite upholstery cleaner and Fabreeze.

Twister Sister

2008-10-29T07:57:00.000-07:00

It seems like lately that I'm stuck in a tornado. The debre flying around me has cut me, at times deeply. And I have found myself wondering how can I duck and miss getting hit when I can't even control standing. I'm wondering where I will land when I'm flung (is that a word ?) out of this whirlwind. My parents are both ill. My dad is in the Big Springs VA hospital and they can't seem to get the infection under control. He has pneumonia. My sister is amazingly going through her struggles with the power of God. I have felt a lack of confidence to say the least in the ability to pray for myself. I tell people all the time that it is okay, I pray for people all the time but hardly for myself. Today I read someone's blog (thanks Brandi) and she quoted a scripture that God used to speak to her. She posted it, I read it and God spoke to me. "In the past you have encouraged many a troubled soul to trust in God; you have supported those who were weak. Your words have strengthened the fallen; you steadied those who wavered. But now, when trouble strikes, you faint and are broken. Does your reverence for God give you no confidence? Shouldn't you believe that God will care for those who are upright?Job 4:3-6 How true, how humbled I am right now. I'm guilty of not trusting God with my emotions. I've been so busy feeling sorry for myself that I forgot who I was and Whom I belong to. I'm taking some time off from the children's minisrty so I can allow God to heal some hurts and to remove some yucky stuff I saw down in my heart. Last week I sliced my finger with the potato peeler. it hurts so bad and it bled a lot. It is better today and the skin is coming back all pink and new. That is how I will return. A new glow in my spirit, a fresh start. I am healed and made whole in the name of Jesus!

GIVING UP

2008-09-30T12:49:00.001-07:00

CAN I QUIT ?

blah

2008-09-30T08:17:00.000-07:00

Today is just a blah day. I have this overwhelming sadness that I cannot explain. Here lately it feels like I've been attached to a bungee cord with my emotions. Extreme highs and lows. I can't seem to find a middle ground. I feel mentally exhausted. It has been a really long time since I have been in the place, but I pray the pass through will be quick. I do not wants to camp out in this place. The longer I stay, the harder it is to leave. I'm filthy from wallering in this pit of self pity. I feel invisible............

Time Management

2008-09-21T15:56:00.000-07:00

What a crazy weekend! Saturday finally arrived and I was thrilled to be off work and able to do what ever I felt like and needed to do. I decided when I woke up that I would schedule to get my hair cut, just a cut, you know simple and quick. I called and my hairdresser is on vacation but since I'm on a mission I decide that it doesn't matter and I'll let someone else cut it. So I said oh, okay well just whoever you have available. God how I wish I could take those words back. So I arrive at the mall at noon, my appointment is at 1:00 so I knew I could do some shopping. I found a new outfit and headed for the salon. The girl took me right away to her styling station and I explained that I just wanted some dead ends trimmed off. Then she proceeds to tell me what bad shape my hair is in and how the highlights are faded and how horrible it is and blah, blah, blah and by the time she's done I'm getting a trim and a colored rinse. I choose a lovely shade of brown. While she is mixing it I'm thinking of how the brown will really make by blue eyes pop. Boy did they ever pop, but not because of the brown, no it was sheer horror. My hair is red (insert picture of me puking here). If your a red head don't be offended I'm sure it looks beautiful on you, but I have freckles and no visible eyebrows. OMG I told her that was not the color I had chosen and she and the stylist next to her tried to convince me how great it looked and I should just go for it. NO WAY JOSE !!! I'm am not leaving this mall with this color on my head so she gets an "expert" to tell her how to fix the goof up. They assure me that this next step will even out the tones to a nice light brown shade. Well, you probably guessed it, they were wrong! They said oh, look that is so much better. What are you blind as well as deaf ? It is the same. By now the tears are welling in my eyes, the girl informs me that at this point they will damage my hair if they do another treatment so I'll have to wear this for a week and they will fix it. As if to try and make me feel better she says don't worry, we won't charge you for a second time, we will fix it for free. UGH. I'll be wearing it in a clip all week to try and reduce the hideousness. (Stephanie you know how I have hair issues...........) By the time I get home it is almost 4:00. I used the green shampoo Kevin uses to try and get rid of some color but it was useless. I called in my prescription refill at Wal-Mart and went to bed early. Surely tomorrow will be better. Sunday : Children's church was great and the lesson went well. I left and picked up lunch to take home and meet Kevin at the house on his break. So far so good. When he went back to work I headed for the Wal-Mart across town where my prescription is. As I approach the Pharmacy I'm amazed that there is not a line of people exploding out of the aisles that surround the pharmacy. I think oh well they must be hanging out of the other end so I turn down an aisle looking for the end of the line. What, could it be true, no one else is in line. My eyes dart back and forth frantickly looking for something I must surely be missing. No, it is true I'm the only person here and I can advance directly to the counter and collect $200. I feel so lucky as I wait on the clerk to notice me. surely she sees me . Finally, eye contact I'm thinking yes, yes, yes Rhonda, God has surely blessed you for the hair mix up and His favor is upon you this glorious day. She acknowledges me and says she will be right with me. While I'm waiting I still cannot believe my good fortune wow, should I buy a lottery ticket? Maybe it is the leapord print undies I wore today, could they me my lucky drawers? Oh, here she comes I'm gonna get out of this place in record time. She asks my name and date of birth and I reply smiling the whole time. My face surely is beaming, then the bomb...I'm sorry maam, we dont show you called that in. I'm certain I left a mark on the counter where my jaw dropped. But she smiled and assured me it would only take about 15 minutes. Okay, what is 15 minutes compared to the 4 hours from yesterday. so I shop and return and to my great surprise I'm again the only person in line. She gave me my meds and I head to the garden area to check out. I pay for my items and the cashier who is in a hurry to go home (I know this because he told me) hands me my bags I spin the bag holder and make sure all my bags are in hand. I'm off and have time enough to catch a quick nap before Kevin gets home from work. I come inside the door, home sweet home and set my bags on the counter. Kevin calls me on his last break and I tell him how quickly I escaped Wal-Mart. Then the atomic bomb. I hollared well the "S" word several times (sorry, but it was there in all of it's infamy) Kevin is saying what's wrong, Rhonda, what is it. The cashier who I'm now refering to as the goober didn't give me the bag with my prescription and make-up products I bought. I wanted to cry. I'm pretty sure I puked in my mouth. I have to go back.NOOOOOOOOO I called and the service desk and she ask which cashier and I told her he is the guy who always acts like he is being bothered by having to check people out. She said I know exactly who that is and she said to bring my reciept and they would fix it. I called back and ask for the garden area. The man that answered the phone looked and found my bag under the cashiers work station. Goober had already gone home and was probably taking my nap by now. I was furious. The drive over was a huge pity party of "how could he" and of the injustice of this whole ordeal. When I arrived there, in record time I might add, the service desk clerk had my bag and they gave me a $25 gift card for my inconvienence. So I guess all in all I did have God's favor on me. Even though I still didn't get a nap.Thank you Lord. Not just for the money, but because he allowed my flesh to be offended so that it would reveal what was in my heart. I repented and the Lord blessed me again with a phone call from my son. That makes up for the misadventures in the on going saga of my life.

New sheriff in town

2008-09-15T08:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to church in Clyde at KLF with my sister and my BFF. It was such an amazing time. The worship was OMG and the teaching was anointed. The folks there are just real people that love Jesus. My sister gave her testimony in front of hundreds of people and I am so proud of her. God is so awesome! She said she feels so loved there and I'm thrilled for her. Every time I go there I feel so stirred up and ready to jump in and do at Bethel what I feel inside. I have such a desire to do BIG things in KIDS church and I plan on breaking down some walls and religious barriers in the mighty name of Jesus. God has great plans for those children. I was praying about it yesterday and whining to God that I feel weak in certain areas. He reminded me that He is my strength and that I am lion hearted. It felt good to hear Him say it again. I think since it is my e-mail and I see it so much that my spirit had become dulled to it's meaning and to the fact that God himself gave me that name. I am as bold as a lion! Greater is He who is in me then he who is in the world. Nothing, nothing, nothing is impossible for God. I have been deputized by God to be Sheriff over my surroundings. The sheriff in the Western movies was hired to run off the bad guy and to go after him and retrieve the "loot" he stole from the people. Well, I'm putting you on notice devil, (in my best John Wayne voice and the theme song to "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly playing in the background) I'm coming after you and I'm going to take back everything you stole from me. I'm gonna invade your camp and I'm taking anything that I know is mine and if I think its mine, I'm taking that too! ?And, if I gave it to you, I'm taking it back, I have changed my mind! There's a new Sheriff in town and this town ain't big enough for the two of us! There's a bounty on your head and I'm aimng to collect! I'm taking back my son, you cannot have him, he belongs to God. I'm taking back my man and the Godly marriage that God said I can have. I'm taking back my healthy body, it is the temple of God. I'm taking back my ministry and my trust of authority and people in general. I'm taking back friendships broken. I'm taking back my finances and my prosperity in every area. I'm taking back my authority you low down scoundral. You better back off. Now, picture me with guns in hand, smoke swirling out of the barrels , spurs slighrly twirling and pulling the reigns of my stunning white horse to head towards home to collect my rewards. Giddy up

Miracle #2

2008-09-12T19:22:00.000-07:00

OK, miracle #1 was my sisters salvation. #2 the results of the bone scan. The Dr. says it has to be a miracle! There is no cancer anywhere else in her body and other than the mass on her lung , her lungs are clear. Her bones are strong and slight arthritis in the shoulder area. Nothing is impossible for God!!! We are believing that when she goes for the next kemo (sp)treatment in 3 weeks that the X=ray will show her lungs clear. Yesterday she was admitted into the hospital for the 1st treatment. She said she knew that there were many angels surrounding her. She could sense them. isn't that awesome. Yes it is! I praise the Lord God almighty. He is Jehovah Rapha. He is the great Physician. We rejoice in the healing of Susan at the hand of the Master. Glory to his marvelous Name.

Chain Reaction

2008-08-31T17:43:00.000-07:00

Today was awesome. I went to church in Clyde KLF with my sister. The worship was amazing as usual and the message was captivating. They did a call for salvation and renewal. Susan took my hand and we went to the front together and she rededicated her life to the Lord. I feel so honored to have had the chance to have that bond with her. We prayed together, took communion together, cried together and rejoiced together. Not only did God heal her, but he has healed our relationship with one another! When she got home and shared with her husband what had happened in church he said he wants to go next Sunday. Then he called his mom and she said well, if you go I'll go and his sister said if you all are going then I am too. Praise God for the chain reaction! Nothing is impossible for God. Salvation is the ultimate healing for any of us and the greatest miracle ever. I am excited to see God move upon the hearts of the other family members being called out. Thank you Jesus.

Timber

2008-08-31T17:21:00.000-07:00

Friday Kevin called me at work. We had a storm in this part of town with some really strong winds. We have a huge tree in the front yard and one of it's limbs was a casuality to the force of the gale. It hit the driveway where my car would have been had I been home and it landed all the way across to his car. It was raining to hard for him to go outside and access the damages but it looked really bad. I called my boss to see if I could borrow hit electric chainsaw he left here and he said okay. By the time I got home the rain had stopped and I began to cut up the tree. Kevin wanted to but I said no, let me. You can move the limbs and lift the heavy parts. So team Kennedy went into full action mode. Wow, I never knew how much stress relief I would get from cutting up those limbs, but I did. Yes, I'm a lumber jill. Right after Kevin called, my sister called and said the doctor told her she had 6 months to a year to live. It took the breath right out of me to hear those haunting words. I didn't know what to say or what to do. I just held my emotions in and the Holy Spirit took over and reassured her that she is healed, no matter what. After I hung up I let the emotions out and headed home. I said Lord, this is too much at one time. Little did I know that the "tree crisis" would actually bring me such a release of stress instead of adding to it, but God did. I think from now on when I need some relief I'll yell TIMBER and let God take the stress away.

Kingdom

2008-08-28T08:11:00.000-07:00

Today I have great news!!!! My little sister called me this morning, weeping and humble she said I know I'm healed. I stand in agreement with her. Last night she went to a KLF cell group meeting in Clyde U.S.A. she had been invited to. She said Rhonda, it was awesome. She made friends and God read her mail. She is so amazed because God used someone to tell things about her that no one else knew. I just love when God does that. She said I felt so loved and I can't wait to go to their church Sunday and will you come with me. YES, YES, YES! Today I read a friends blog and he was talking about letting signs and wonders, ect lead people to salvation instead of us trying to cram it down their throats. That is exactly what happened. A man who holds the cell group in his home went to where my sister works for lunch. He knew she had a bad report from the doctor via my mother. He ask how she was and before he left, he ask if he and the other person he was with could pray for her. She said yes and they did. She told me later that day and said you know Rhonda, they prayed out loud and didn't care who heard and I wasn't even embarrassed about it. They lived what they believed and due to that authenticity she was drawn to the invitation of the cell group and salvation. She can't wait until the next test from the doctor so they can witness the miracle of God. Hallelujah!!! Thanks Aaron, and I love your quote and I'm going to "borrow" it. "The Kingdom inside you will be the Kingdom around you." That is so simple but so profound! I thank God for real Kingdom people.For those who love and do not judge. I proclaim salvation for the rest of my family and I call them out by name Christopher, Kevin, Ashley, John ,Tom, Katie, Ray, Gary, Jennifer, Melissa and Gary Jr. . I pray Lord, let me be Kingdom in my everyday living so You can bring salvation and healing to those I come into contact with. What a great day this is!

The Shack

2008-08-19T13:04:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading the book, really, I devoured it. When I fisrt decided to write this blog I thought , geez Rhonda your in love with a book. Though that my be truth in part I now realize the reality of my feelings. As my heart pounds wildly in excitement I know that I am full of awe, hope and love over flowing for Papa. Even though the book is fiction based, I came away after reading it feeling somehow cleansed. I do hope it depicts the real Father God. I know I will read it again. I think most of us have "a shack" buried in the back woods of our pasts. Ta ta for now, I've got some gardening to do. Love Rhonda

Praise Report

2008-08-16T08:24:00.000-07:00

Sing with me: "Oh, whose report shall you believe, we shall believe in the report of the Lord!" Yes. yes and amen. I went to the doctor yesterday about the "symptoms". No surgery! Through the lifting of heavy things when I moved and the lack of fiber in my diet, the wound had reopened and is irritated. It can be reversed through a good diet, soaking in warm water and the continued touch of Jesus. Thank you all that prayed and stood in for me. Thank you for holding up my arms when they had grown tired. I do have "a knowing" that there were prayers that enabled us to touch the hem of His garment. The lifting off of the burden is so great. I am a blessed woman. Continue to pray for my sister Susan. God is not a respecter of persons and what He has done for me He will surely do for her. He is greater than any cancer, any tumors any doubt or disbelief. He is !!!!!

The Shack

2008-08-14T14:14:00.001-07:00

I've been reading this book called "The Shack" it was recommended by a friend and it is awesome! It is fiction but has many truths. I cannot resist a couple of lines to share now. God is speaking with the main character about a tragedy that happened, he blames himself because he believes God caused this tragedy to bring him to a place of repentance. This is God's response: "Just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean I orchestrate the tragedies. Don't ever assume that my using something means I caused it or that I need it to accomplish my purposes. That will only lead you to false notions about me. Grace doesn't depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors." Next, Jesus is speaking to the main guy and He tells him, ""I don't want to be the first thing among your list of values; I want to be the center of everything that happens to you. Rather than a pyramid, I want to be the center of a mobile, where everything in your life--your friends, family, occupation, thoughts, activities--is connected to Me, but moves with the wind, in and out and back and forth, in an incrediuble dance of being." Then the Holy Spirit concludes by saying "I am the wind." Isn't that beautiful!!!

Dawn of the living water

2008-08-08T22:21:00.000-07:00

It's almost 1:00 a.m. and I'm wide awake. I have been thinking a lot (and stressing) over "the symptons" coming back. I do believe God heals, I don't have to be perfect to be healed. I only need the faith. I have prayed for God to increase the measure of faith I've been given. The devil is a liar! I'm not being punished and I was healed the first time! The devil cannot put on me what God has delivered me from in the Name of Jesus!

This is the dawning of a new day and His mercies are new every morning.

"Then your light shall break forth like the dawn, and healing shall spring up quickly" Isaiah 58:8

Praise God for His love endures forever. Thank you Father, according to Your Word, whatever I ask for in prayer with faith I will receive (Matthew 21:22) .

I hear Your voice saying, "Daughter your faith has made you well, go in peace, And be healed of your disease." Mark 5:34

Brothers and sisters, please be in agreement with me and life me up in prayer.

Always His child

2008-08-06T07:03:00.000-07:00

My wonderful son is 24 years old. That is so wierd to put into print. It doesn't seem possible because when I look at him I still see the 4 year old little boy that adores his mother and loves hats. And even though he is an adult by physical age, he is still my baby. As he gets older my role as mom has gone through various stages. When he needs something and I can help it thrills me . Frst of all "he still needs me". Although he has always needed me, he learned to depend on himself and others . It seems to hurt his pride when he has to ask and I can hear in his voice that this is his last resort. I love to be able to be there for him. As I was thinking about this I realized that God must feel the same way. I somethimes think that I have been a Christian for so long that when certain things come along I shy away from God because I think I'm "old enough" ( ie: " I should have known better, what is my problem") , I can do this myself. I think He will think less of me or shake His fist in anger and say "Again Rhonda, really ?" I don't think that about my son and when he is hurting, I hurt. I'm not disappointed in him or angry with him. I love him. I know that is not how my Father reacts to me either. I know He is delighted that I have run to Him for help. He still sees me as He created me not as I see myself or others see me. I'm still His little girl and I can still crawl into His lap and say Daddy, I hate to ask but..... Before I can finish my sentence He has already met my need and just wants to delight in me, He invites me to stay awhile so I snuggle in a little closer and rest in His arms. I never want to grow up and I'll always be His baby!!!

Holding My Breath

2008-07-14T08:20:00.000-07:00

Three more days until I'm Rhonda Kennedy once again... My sister and I were talking about when we were kids and how we rarely did anything "special", but when a trip to the zoo or the ocean or what ever it was became a plan we we're all too excited. The promise of something so grand would soon become a flogging tool for mother to sling at you everytime you took a breath. It became the thing, the weapon you were threatened with all day every day. If you don't stop ____ were not going. If you don't hush we're not going. If you smile were' not going (literally). We talked about how we got to a point to where we would not act the least bit excited about it for fear she would take it away long before we got "it". That has become a way of life for me, don't act to happy or it may not happen . I remeber as a child holding my breath to keep from grinning and making her mad.. She hated our happiness. Well, not today! I'm grinning from ear to ear. I'm excited about being married again and to Kevin. This is a prayer answered for me and for him. Although I have to admit I like my handwriting the way I sign Cates better than I sign my name Kennedy, but I could still sign it Cates-Kennedy. Probably not, there is too much life in the dash (-) between the two names. That's for another blog..

Bleeding

2008-07-02T12:25:00.000-07:00

SUPERFICIAL......the other day I was cutting tile to put down in a closet floor. I slipped with the blade and cut my finger. At first it didn't bleed and I thought "oh it's superficial." After a few moments it did bleed and it burned. The word superficial just would not go away and it began to resonate in me. So, I pondered it and thought about some things that have been on my mind lately and thought perhaps the Lord is showing me something. We all know how I love words and their definitions.I like things that are "deep". So here it is... superficial: of or relating to a surface; lying on, not penetrating below, or affecting the surface. Concerned only with the obvious or apparent:shallow. external, presenting only an appearance without substance or significance. Lacking in depth or solidity. It suggests a lack of thoroughness or a neglect of details. Wow, that can apply to many things in my life. I'm still not sure where this is going but I found it interesting. Even thouygh it was a superficial cut, the fact remains that it still bled and it still needs to heal. I'll leaave this with a "hummmmmm

Moving

2008-05-21T07:37:00.000-07:00

I have recently come to a profound awareness. I have too much stuff ! It's funny how moving will help you access things like that. I have been in the storage business for 20 years and there are many times when people get behind on their rent and we have to auction their belongings. We have cut locks and I have wondered why people would pay to store some of the things we find. So now here I am in that same boat. I have a 10 x 20 (200 square feet) packed full of things that I never use. Once in a while I raise the door for a quick reminder that I'm a pack rat. Now I've rented a 10 x 15 and it is nearly full and I haven't even put any furniture in it. Mostly boxes of books and the many other things that I collect and there is more to pack. ugh :( I have a new found empathy for my tenants. that should help with rentals, they love sympathy....don't we all? I tried to play analyst on myself. Thats a big word for I've made an excuse. When I was growning up my dad was a nomad. We rarely stayed in a house for a year. He was always wanting to try it in differant town and occasionally we would change states. We were always low on funds so dad would get a little U-Haul trailer and we would load what they thought was important and leave everything else behind including pets many times! Mom would come in and throw a box in the room all three of us kids shared and that was what we could put toys in. No more than that., I hated it! We went without a lot! So having said all that,I surmise that this is the reason why I hang on to everythiug. It is all very important to me and I suffer from the "I might need it" disease. That is why I carried a large purse for so long (really it was a diaper bag) I finally realized that I never in all my life used the little fold up scissors or the handy 5 in one screwdriver set, I never once whipped out the little sewing kit and stitched up a single thing and I'm long past having to touch up the make-up every hour. I am getting rid of some of my furniture. I have enough pans to open my own restaurant and I have kept sheets that fit beds don't even own anymore. Sad but true. I have many home decor things but I always think I'll change the room to a differant motif. NO I WON'T, I HATE CHANGE !!! Oh well, I'm buying a bigger house so maybe i'll use some of it, right? Just kidding

Garden of forgiveness

2008-05-01T13:33:00.000-07:00

This morning while I was getting ready for work the Lord said "Rhonda, if your going to travel down this same road at least plant some flowers along the way." I've pondered it all morning and have had many thoughts. There are some roads I've traveled that are full of potholes, chugholes, pits, whatever you chose to call them. Frankley I'm spent as much time off the road and in the ditch as I have on the beaten path. So, I began to think about potholes and how they need to be repaired. Once they are repaired then one can safely travel on the road again. There have been some on our city streets where I'm sure I got rice on my wheels and even after they were repaired I found myself slowing down with great caution before I drove over them. Once I hit one and my hub cap went flying like a rocket launched into someone's yard. I didn't go retrieve it...I was stunned by the jarring of my car and my head. I have a teaching cd by T. D. Jakes about potholes. He talks about how they can ruin your car, blow out a tire and knock it out of alignment, but he has never seen anyone build a house and live in a pothole. He has never met me hee-hee. I have certainly camped out in a few of them! Once repaired though, God allows us to travel on them again in his vehicles of grace. Admittedly, not all roads are meant to be traveled on again and from my experience not all roads lead to Rome. I think I will plant some daises where there have been bumps in the road in my relationship with Kevin. My close friends have probebly never heard me speak of anything good about him and have only heard the bad things (potholes) I apologize to you! A few roses here and there to brighten up a curve and add an aromo that is pleasant to the trip. I'll have to place a sign for some that says "Please don't pick the Daisies" As with any road there will still be some bumps, but I think I will watch my driving more carefully. Even cactus have beautiful blooms, but you sure better be careful picking them! Anyhow, just some random "outloud" thinking.

Princess Party 2008

2008-04-21T08:56:00.000-07:00

Our 2nd annual Princess party was a great success. A great BIG thank you Cathy Kerns! I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you to those who filled up the sign up sheets and provided the meal. Even though these are little girls, they ate like grown men. I had no idea, I thought only boys did that, wow. Ivalene once again came through with a beautifully decorated table, she is so talented. Thanks Cheryl and Pat for keeping everyone informed through the bulletins. We had a total of 9 girls that were able to be there, 2 were from other churches and 4 were first timers. We had an amazing time talking about the Kingdom that they are heirs to. This year was completely differant from last year even though it was great too. There was such a presence of God. these girls know who they are in Christ. There was a "Warrior" atmosphere. So much so that I took pictures with each one holding a sword, no divas here! They are each so unique and I love them all. there is one who loves to worship, she dances before the Lord freely and with purpose. Another has a calling to preach the Word, she does it now in her school and without shame! We have the prankster, the ice breaker she is so funny, just like her parents. The tomboy, I love her....all the girls got a rose bud and a ring, she put her rose in her tiara and hooked the ring on the stem, she has her own style., she too,loves to dance in worship. There are several quite ones that are just moved by the Spirit to give hugs and love on people and never say a word. God has great plans for these girls. Now, not to leave the boys out, I will be planning something for them and they are"Sons of Thunder". I need a couple of men to step up for this one and I will help with the planning ect. Week before last one of the boys who is a whopping 9 years old preached in children's church. Yes! He told me he was caslled to preach so I said then let's do it and he delivered a wonderful lesson on anger complete with an object lesson and questions for the audience. Another one brought the scripture memory verse. He didn't just stand and repeat a memorized verse, he looked it up in his Bible, read it and then explained it's meaning and had everyone repeat it twice. One child ran the overhead and another played the music, they took up offering and then another one prayed over it. These kids are amazing!!!! I can't wait to see what else as we dive in the Gulf od Rawvaw. Love Rhonda

Life Lesson Through My Dog

2008-04-02T10:03:00.000-07:00

It's been two months since my last post and truthfully it seems even longer. I've had things to say, just too tired, too lazy, and too this, that and the other. I love how God teaches me things and uses so many differant avenues to do so. My little dog , Haley still has her dew claws on her hind legs . Because of this she has six toes per foot. Anyhow, the little claws are getting hung in the rug. my clothes, and most recently the stitching on my bedspread. Each time she yelps and cries out in pure agony, It breaks my heart to here her in pain. I have tried to help her to unhang the claw, But she is so overcome in pain and panic that she bites me. She continues to thrash her body about and bite at nme until she gets free, Usually the nail breaks off . Ouch! When all is said and done there is slight bleeding and she is very careful with the injured foot for a day or so. Through it all I love her as best as she will allow me. The Lord reminded me that so often I do that. I get myself snared in situations and as He tries to help me I lash out because the pain is too intense and I am blinded by the pain at the moment beyond any reasoning. It breaks His heart to hear me cry ou\t in pain. Sometimes I thrash so much that I end up bleeding, broken and bruised. I may walk with a limp for a while and be guarded. Through it all He still loves me the best that I allow Him to.

growth? Really?

2008-02-12T08:02:00.000-08:00

The title says it all right now. I wonder why we pray and get excited about the prospect of church growth when we are not even realtional to the few we have now? Let me sweep my own doorstep first. I have missed many Wednesday night services and I have a host of excuses why I couldn't/woudn't make it. I can sum it up in a word , maybe two...COMMITTMENT AND DEDICATION. I recently sent a quote to a friend from a book I am reading about a woman that lost a significant amount of weight. She said she didn't need a promise from another company about how their service and product could help her obtain nirvana . What she needed was a committment to herself. Is that what we need? Don't we have a committment to Christ? To each other? Why would God send us more if we are not caring for the few we have. Remember the talents? Have we invested in one another? I'll speak for myself, I haven't and I repent. What do you need? How can I serve? Seek and you shall find. I believe if we are listening to the leading of the Holy Spirit that needs will be met before anyone ever knows there was a need. That is a prosperous church. Recently KIDS Church was BROKE and in one service the funds have been built back up. There was no fund raiser, no begging, just prayer and obedience. Thank You Jesus! I love you all!

dog kisses

2008-01-29T07:17:00.000-08:00

This morning I was awakened by my sweet little dog. Normally when the alarm rings she goes futher under the covers. Not this morning, she was wide awake and insisted that I do the same. She was nuzzeling her head into my face and trying to give me kisses. I sucessfully blocked them. I got up and let her out back where she ran and leaped and was so happy and full of life. I thought how in the heck does someone do that first thing in the morning and finally just signed it off to her youth. Now as I sit here I started thinking about it again. She is so happy to see me at lunch and in the evening. She is content with her life! She knows she is loved and wanted . It's not so much that she is young and full of energy, but she is living. I am too! I sometimes give myself the excuse that I'm to old for certain things or it's too late. No! Jesus said, "Choose life". Things are moving along with Kevin, I see major changes yet I am guarded. You know, fool me once....... I want this relationship to work and so far it seems to be. I find myself giddy and feeling that stupid I'm in love stuff. I am content. I am young and full of life and have many goals to fulfill. Forgive me for indulging myself in a little back patting, but it helps to say it out loud. I am a highly favored child of God!! A couple of weeks ago I was in a music store and I heard the audible voice of God say: "Your a daughter of Light" I looked around, I was alone. I had been looking at the toys (I told you I'm a child at heart, a toy-r-us kid) and I was so saddened by the way our children and young people are being seduced. these Anime' toys are dolls that are dressed scantily and in provocative positions. Other figurines are monsters, horrible creatures that you see in nightmares and of all things SouthPark has a talking turd. I'm not kidding! There were magic potions and a book on spells to cast on someone to make them love you or to ward off a bully. The devil makes it look so harmless, remember he is a liar! I believe because I was so surrounded by darkness the Lord wanted to remind me. I am that light to shine on the darkness! I am that life that is living and full of His Spirit and content being so! I can't wait to be awakened by the Father, I'll leap and jump and smother Him with kisses and I'll know I am loved by the smile on His face.

God is faithful

2008-01-25T07:50:00.000-08:00

God is faithful. My neice that I wrote about on one of my blogs, the one that was in the hospital and God healed her. Well, she has an older sister . The older had a child and is expecting another. She has made bad choices and as far as I know has never gone to church or spoke of God. Anyhow, she has been considering an abortion because the "donor" is abusive and has many, many problems. She called me to ask what she should do. Now, I'll back up a little and show you how God works. The sunday prior to the phone call, Kevin (my Ex) was on vacation and wanted to go to church. He prefers Baptist so I agreed to go to Beltway. It just so happened that it was the sanctity of human life week so the entire message was about abotion and what the bible had to say about the subject. When we left Kevin said well, I'm not sure that was revelant for us but maybe there is a reason we were here for this service, maybe it is for those girls. So when she called me and told me she was determined, I was armed with the Word. I told her I could not stop her, but since she was asking my opinion (she really wanted permission) I wanted to tell her some things. I explained how it was a sin and that the baby was of God and that He chose her to be that baby's momma. She listened for quite a while and then said she didn't care what anyone thought it was just plain better for her. I told her I would not hold it agaisnt her or treat her any differant , or judge her. I heard later that she calles several more people and ask them if what I said was true, they agreed with me. The next evening she called and told me she was keeping her baby regardless of the "donor". Then here is the next amazing thing, she said Aunt Rhonda can I go to church with you, I said some aweful things about this baby and I feel bad and I don't want God to punish my baby. I'm crying know as I write this and see the goodness of God. I said yes and then told her she didn't even have to wait until Sunday to repent, she said okay, but I just want to go to church. Thank you glorious God!! Thank you Jesus, Thank you Holy Spirit. Now, the grandmother had ask me to pray, Kevin saw the hand of God and this family is seeing that He is real and that He cares.

Troops Meeting

2008-01-06T18:47:00.000-08:00

Tonight's meeting was so good. I left there feeling cleansed and refreshed. During prayer the Lord led me to Proverbs 2:1 "My son, if you receive my words and treasure my commands within you so that you incline your ear to wisdom and apply your heart to understanding." Verse 6: "From His mouth came knowledge and understanding." Proverbs 3:19 "The Lord by wisdom founded the earth. By understanding He established the heavens" We have been talking about how we talk, what we speak and taking back what has been stolen. Our words are so important. Each of these verses points to us taking action. If you receive my words, action is implied. To receive it you must read it, hear it, speak it and treasure it to the point that His word is all we hear and to apply His word is to speak His word. His spoken word brings knowledge and understanding v6 says it came from His mouth! By His wisdom and His understanding he founded the earth and established the heavens. What are we establishing when we speak? What have our words founded? I looked up these words and here's what I discovered: Founded: to consolidate; to bring together, to unite, to make whole Established: to be firm, faithful, true, to trust, to sieze, fix, prepare, take hold of, lean upon, to strengthen up, to confirm. I believe that when we apply the Word of God to our situations and speak them and believe what we speak we are in fact bringing heaven to earth. We are establishing the spoken Word of God. We are becoming of one mind and one body (united). We are siezing the things the enemy had held captive and the Word of God will straighten up our lost loved ones. He will fix and repair them and make them whole! A commentary in my Bible says wisdom is not just God's posession, but His tool.

what's happening

2008-01-05T20:32:00.000-08:00

Today I took down the Christmas decorations. I have many, many ornaments and little treasures each with their own box. Placing each one in it's own space to protect it and keep it safe for the following years . It was quite a task. As I was taking ornaments off the tree I was trying to do so in the most efficient way I thought possible. I wanted to take all the larger boxed ornaments first so they could then go into the storage box first. I had done several when I found the box for the "fish in the tank" from Hallmark. I looked all over that tree twice and could not see that particular ornament. I stood there staring trying to bring it into my view, it did not happen. When I was almost done I spotted it....it was right in front of me the whole time. I looked there and it was not on the tree. The Lord used this to minister to me. He said, "You know Rhonda that you get so over whelmed when you look at the bigger picture, If you would just take one thing at a time and take care of that one thing, then the rest would come and not over whelm you. When you look at the whole thing, you loose you focus and when your focus is gone then you are left groping in the air to find you way. I have made a path for you, you do not have to wander, just look straight ahead." It is so true, it was right in front of me the whole time, but I couldn't see it for looking at the whole tree. I do that in my day to day living. I want to know what's going to happen and how it's going to happen before it happens. By the time I'm about done with analyzing it, I'm exauted and very over whelmed. Lord, help me not to run out in front of You. Forgive me for the times I have!

permanent marker

2007-12-31T11:47:00.000-08:00

Last night I put on my favorite old and tattered night gown and sat to watch T.V. As I sat there I thought about how ugly the gown was and how I should throw it out after all, I do have others. It is thin and gray from so many washings, the V part of the V-neck looks more like a U, the ties for the bow were long ago chewed off, yes by me! There on the belly are two one inch long black marks made from a permanent marker. That marker is amazing because those things never fade. I started thinking about how marker got on my night gown and remembered that I was wearing it one night and doing a projcet for kids church. I love teaching the children, they have made a permanent mark on me. It has never faded and although there are days that I look a little gray, tattered, washed out and torn , that mark does not go away. Like the gown each time I put it on, it is fresh and a perfect fit. Yesterday I felt a bit overwhelmed because I still had not put away the donations left over from the Christmas party and trust me there was a lot! (Now I know I could have ask for help, but I do have a problem with that and it is difficult because I don't want to be a burden to anyone. This is in my head and I realize it, but for now it is there) Antoine and Antonio were with me and I ask if they would help, they were thrilled at the chance. With a great focus and determination, we accomplished what I at first thought was an impossibility. I remember after it was done and time to start church I said out loud "I would not trade this for anything!" God is good and I cannot wait to see what 2008 has in store. Good health, healing, prosperity.....and much much more.

My Favorite

2007-12-13T07:55:00.000-08:00

I have 2 neices and a nephew from my ex-husbands brother. These kids have had horrible lives, both parents alcoholics and drug addicts. The nephew is in a home for boys and both neices 17 and 20 have a child and are now pregnant with another. Neither are married and both have boyfriends that do not work and are abusive. All three chidren have been abandoned . They have never been in church. The younger neice is in the hospital and I went to see her a couple of days ago. She had an abcessed tooth that has caused her tounge to swell out of her mouth and the gums are swollen over the teeth and her neck is huge! She cannot eat and can barely talk . While there I ask her if I could pray for her and explained how God loves her and wants to heal her. She said she was hoping that I would cause her nanny had told her how I always pray for the family. I laid hands on her and prayed for her healing and commanded the toxins in her body would to leave. I ask God to let it be a witness to Jenny of his great love for her. Yesterday I called her and she said oh Aunt Rhonda, I think God heard you. the tooth is draining and they don't think surgery will be necessary. Thank you Jesus!!! She said remember how you always said I was your favorite (And she was, I tried to adopt her, but I love all three). I said yes I do and you still are, but did you know your God's favorite? She cried. I'm so thankful that God is gentle and loving and that He still heals and that we are each His favorite. Please pray for this family, and my ex. Some of you saw him at church his name is Kevin and the fact that he came to church is an act of God.

Crispy apples

2007-11-24T11:45:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's been over a month since my last post. I have been so busy. Thanksgiving has been great. Chris got to come home and spend a few days here. Even though many family members did there own dinner this year, they still came by the parents house to greet one another. It was so nice! I have a funny to share....it is no great secret (except to her) that my mother can be quiet overbearing and difficult to get along with and spend a great deal of time with. Every family gathering brings me to think how long will I stay and how will I get out quickly and unscathed. We were sitting at the table and I left the room along with my cell phone; something I rarely do. While I was out of the room a dear friend called me. Just a side note about this friend, she got a word last year that her words would be like sweet golden apples. ANYHOW...the phone rings and my mom answered it in my absence it went something like this: Mom: hello Friend: Do you need a reason for an escape ? there is a pause... Mom: No, this is Rhonda's mom and she is in the bathroom Friend: (gasping in horror) Did I dial the wrong number? I'm sorry, I'm laughing so hard it is difficult to type! Somehow the conversation ends. While I'm in the other room I feel a sudden temperature change in the house. I can hear the crackle of the ice forming on the walls. There is a faint smell of baked apples mixed with the odor of putting out a candle. When I slid on the icy floors back into the room with mom it was clear why the house was now cold. (ha-ha). Apparently the apples had a bit of moisture in them and splashed the fire coming from the dragon's ego. How sweet that moment was. I savored every delicious bite of those apples because they said in one bite what I have wanted to say for 40 years! I love you friend!!! Now before you think we are terrible, you must know we cleaned up the mess with a little story, okay a lie. I called my friend who was laughing and crying in between the apologies and I was laughing which was adding a little fuel to the dampened fire. But I convinced her that my friend thought she has dialed her son who was visiting in laws and it was all a big mistake. Ahhh, great holiday memories are made in a split second, but many will last a life time. Thanks friend for another great memory in the scrapbook of my life here in blogville.

Vaughn Clark

2007-10-19T07:47:00.000-07:00

Tuesday night God spoke through Vaughn Clark with the following message: "You need to breath fresh air in the Spirit. Take a deep breathe. Your one of those ladies that when you came in, you came in. And it was like here I am, your what I've got and I'm going with you Jesus. Don't let the enemy disappoint you and take you down. Don't let him put you off to the side. You have got to learn to walk in peace with people and do what you do because God has told you to do it. Be grateful for encouragement you have from other people, but don't let hindrances from other people stop you. You just be on about it. You have to be constant and immovable in the work of the Kingdom. When you've got help and encouragement from others, thank God for it, but when you have blockages from other people don't let it wear you out. You just go on about your Father's business."

New vs Old

2007-10-18T07:51:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking about when you get something new, when does it become old. Does a new car still seem new after the new car smell is gone? Does having a newborn wear off after the 5th dirty diaper or the 50th ? How do you go from being I can't keep my hands off you in love to don't even think about breathing the same air as me? When will I or did I become old ? Remember being a new Christian, everything was exciting and expected. So believeable. I couldn't wait to tell people about Jesus and I couldn't get enough church. Even as I type this blog, it is getting old. The Bible is old, yet in it there is a fresh revelation, a refreshing of the Spirit. God says, "That which has been is what will be, That which is done is what will be done. And there is nothing new under the sun." Ecc. 1:9 Lam. 3:22 says His mercies are new every morning" I'm so glad! Rev. 21:5, He proclaims, "Behold, I will make all things new". I am a new creation; old things have passed away; Behold all things have become new." 2 Corin. 5:17 Well, you get the point. Just some random thinking.

Howling Wind

2007-10-13T22:36:00.000-07:00

Well, it's nearly 1:00 am and here I sit, wide awake and sick as a dog. Friday's doctor visit has left me in a lot of pain and something is making me sick to my stomach and I feel a bit dizzy. I can here the wind howling outside. I think it makes the same sound as a lonely heart that cries out for love. It sounds so desperate, so deliberate, so torn. Anyhow, on an up note, the new car is fabulous!!! I'm so thankful.

new car

2007-10-10T07:20:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I am getting a new car. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. The Lord worked out a great plan for payments and it it a 2007 model. Saturn Ion with 6500 miles and a warranty I have never had a car so new and I know God is the reason for it. Thank You Father! On another note, I've been less enthused about blogging. I guess I thought it would fill the void I needed for being relational. Not so. Someone elese wrote about the same thing in their space and said a blog cannot smile, or hug you or wipe away a tear or ask how you are spiritually and then pray for you. I agree, so in that sense I'm disenchanted. I'll still continue with it thought because it is a journal of my days on this earth. So, tata for now.

All is well

2007-10-05T12:56:00.000-07:00

My last blog was from a very dark place that I allowed myself to go to. Thanks for all who prayed and I'm sorry for those I scared. I am okay and the day is brighter. I am an overcomer by the word of my testimony and the blood of Jesus! Anyhow, all is well with my soul. This Sunday will be the first of our new series. Wall watchers, remember to pray. Because of what has been happening in my personal life I can only imagine what God has planned for the kids. Satan has certainly tried to fight me, what a loser! I'll write more later, I just wanted to get this out there in blogville. Love you all....

Road to Damascus

2007-10-03T20:03:00.000-07:00

It's been a few days since last post. I haven't been sleeping very well; legs ache. Three night ago I had a vivid dream. I was walking down a dirt road as I walked, there were words written on the road. It said "The road to Damascus is a hard road to travel." I'm still pondering it, but thought it was certainly blog worthy. My body is weak and I'm tired. I've had a lot of random thoughts and today this poem came out. It is untitled:

What's right?

What's wrong?

Living is dying!

My heart is torn and bleeding,

It has dripped and created a pool.

Wet, deep and slippery.

I'm slipping.

I'm falling.

Where?

In love?

In danger?

Into a trap?

Loneliness is stealing away all reason.

Common sense--long ago stored away and

stacked in a corner covered by cobwebs

of deceit and betrayal.

Trust--What? Whom?

The unknown

The unseen

Where is faith?

Misplaced?

You Are Mine

2007-09-28T17:23:00.000-07:00

This has been the longest week. It seems like a whole month. I am drained! This week my emotions have been all over the radar, but I feel like today I have finally harnessed them to a controllable place. I'm still not sleeping well, but today I bought some Tylenol P.M. to help that little thing out. On a positive note, today I paid off a debt. ya-hoo. that's one closer to being debt free. Then, at the risk of coming off like a complete pysco, I'll be more transparent in an effort to be more relational. Today I'm strong and so over Kevin.. I'm done ! He showed up at the job a couple of days ago and said he wanted me to go out with him as friends but I had placed conditions on it and messed everything up as usual. He said why do you want to make things so hard? What? Excuse me? I only ask him to surrender his life to Jesus. Anyhow, today I just have this "knowing" that he has a girlfriend. Usually when things start to go awry in his relationships, he will call me . I'm the back up plan. I know that the Holy Spirit gave me that knowledge. I'm so glad that God has a plan for me. He planned it before I was born, not as an after thought. Wednesday, I was feeling so sad and lonely and pressured to hang out with him. I came home at lunch and checked the mail and got a letter from Gladys Hill (Christine), she said the Lord had given her some scriptures to speak over me daily concerning healing. One of them was Ezekiel 16:6 "And when I passed by you and saw you struggling in your own blood, I said to you in your blood, "Live!' Yes, I said to you in your blood, 'Live!' That is such a great scripture, but it gets better. I read on and this is how the Lord lifted me up out of the fog. V7-8 " I made you thrive like a plant in the field; and you grew, matured and became very beautiful. Your breasts were formed and you hair grew, but you were naked and bare. When I passed by you again and looked upon you, indeed your time was the time of love; so I spread My wing over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you and you became Mine," says the Lord God. Isn't that beautiful! I'm telling you it was like a Rama Word for me. Thank you Jesus! I am His. He is so gracious and merciful and patient, I'm so grateful. Love you all, Rhonda......I'm ringing my bell

help

2007-09-27T11:20:00.000-07:00

Please pray for workers in the children's ministry. I'm not looking for a "break" from teaching. I'm looking for a team. I love being back there with the kids, but there are some things that do work better if there is one or two more people. I have a hard time leading worship, putting on the over head transparency and playing the CD. It can be done, but it takes up more of the precious little time I have to minister. I can't operate the puppets and interact with them. I want people hungry for God not just looking for a way to "get out of" the morning service. I want people that come to church on a regular basis and are in proper authority in the church and in their personal lives ; people that love kids and love Jesus. Today I was asking, "did I miss hearing from God ?" I know what He has placed in my heart for the children. I do know that the devil would love to stop that seed from going forth, but he can't in the Name of Jesus! I accuse him and demand that he pay back seven times what he has stolen. Not just seven workers, but seven generations ! I call forth those anointed workers in the mighty Name of Jesus. According to the Word of the Lord: "Awake, you who sleep, Arise from the dead, And Christ will give you light." Eph. 5:14

My Fairy Tale

2007-09-20T11:32:00.000-07:00

Well, it happened. Today my ex-husband called me at work. He wanted to take me out to dinner and just be friends. Sounds innocent enough right? Wrong! Two weeks ago he stopped me in a parking lot of a business I was going into. He begged, he cried, he apologized and as always he promised. He had learned and now after twenty years of knowing me he realizes the err of his ways and can't live without me. Before you judge me and think I'm heartless, there is a history that I'll tell you in person if your interested. You see the problem is, I still love him. He is not a follower and tries to control my participation in church as well as everything else in my life. When he called today my emotions went crazy. My flesh wanted to say yes. Yes, I'll go to dinner with you and then after that let's go get remarried and then we can live in my new house that God gave me and be happy for the rest of our lives. That is my fairy tale. I told him finally I would have to think about it and call him back because I wasn't sure I wanted to open up any doors . After I hung up, I prayed. Lord, please, I want to be married. It's is all I ever wanted. I know you hate divorce and blah, blah, blah...We've had this conversation before. Very clearly the Lord said one word WISDOM. I know He's right. I don't want to keep telling Kevin goodbye. I called a friend and said I need wisdom. I said I haven't done anything yet, but I'm tempted. She said okay, tell me. I knew she wouldn't judge me or think I was stupid (okay , maybe a little. hee-hee). I said Kevin called and she said No! She was so quick I said are you talking to me cause I thought there must be someone else in the room with her because I hadn't even said what happened. She assured me, "I'm talking to you." She then proceeded to remind me of some things the Lord had spoke with me concerning this matter in the past and gave me some great advice and still loved me. That is so Christ like, thanks friend! I called him back and said I couldn't and of course he wanted to know why. The following is in a nutshell what I told him: Once upon a time my heart was whole, or so I thought. I fell in love and gave it to you. Over the years, it suffered many heartaches . Then at times it would actually break and a piece of it would fall at your feet. Eventually so many pieces had broken and fallen that I’m not sure how I even survived. I took back the piece that existed and it was fractured and quite fragile. It had to be guarded . I thought I would surely die. Then I fell in love again, this time with Jesus. He took the fragment of my heart that I laid at His feet and He made it new and whole. Now, here you are again asking me to give you my heart. You’ll have to go to the feet of Jesus to find it. Until He has your heart, you cannot have a part of mine. He is the guardian of it. I do still love you and I have forgiven you, but I’m not the same person. I’m a Princess, an heir to royalty and I belong to God. To be with me, you must go through Him. The choice is and always has been yours. Then I invited him to church. That is the only door I will open for him at this point. After I hung up I cried a little and then I rang my bell. I love you Jesus!

Sing Out

2007-09-20T08:38:00.000-07:00

I know usually most people try to stay out of hot water. But I'm pround to say that I now have hot water and was so happy to be in it this morning! Tomorrow is the doctor visit, hopefully the last one! I don't feel any panic or fear though. The Lord has been faithful time and again concerning any pain and I know He will not fail this time. This morning my co-worker said," you just like the sound of that bell don't you? He was referring to the necklace that Markie, Roy & Tiffany got me. It is hand crafted and called an Overcomer's Bell. I do like the sound of it. It reminds me that I am an overcomer! I wasn't aware that I ring it a lot, but I do. It's like the Lord whispering to me. When the wind blows, the chimes on my deck make a beautiful noise. The wind is like the Holy Spirit stirring something and causing it to sing out. That's what it was created to do. So the bell stirs me and makes me sing out "I am an overcomer!

Awake

2007-09-19T05:35:00.001-07:00

Last night came and went and turned into morning. I know because I couldn't sleep and I watched the departure of yesterday and the entry of today. I hope I will be alert today. Tonight is church and in the wee hours of the morning I thought , "oh well, you can come home and just go to bed." The thought was so inviting. Then I remembered the leadership meeting Sunday night. Kim made a statement about Wednesday nights and how people just treat it like a day off or like church doesn't matter. Ouch, I've been found out. I have been guilty of that here lately, so I will go to church tonight. Thanks Kim (no, I mean it) Another thing I thought of was my last blog. To my horror I realized I went from talking about sodas to milk shakes. As I replayed it in my mind I thought, "what was I thinking?" So, I just wanted you all to know that I know. (hee-hee) Oh ya, one more thing, the most important thing! My son texted me yesterday and said we should all refer to him now as Staff Sgt. Cates. He is now an E6 . He's only been in for four years so I'm told that is quite an accomplishment. He inspires me to do better!

Thankful's

2007-09-18T19:44:00.000-07:00

Today I was saddened and shocked. I found out that a can of soda has 5 teaspoons of sugar in it. Then the whammy; that is the equivalent of four doughnuts. Yes ladies, I said four. It was bad enough to know about the teaspoons of sugar, but then they had to go and give me a visual so I thought I would share my grief with those I love. When I was in the hospital Kim and Barry brought me a chocolate shake at my request. Now I'll have to remember how good it was. Had I known,I would have traded for the Krispy Kremes. Such sorrow.... On another note, today my hot water heater died and went to that big boiler room in the sky. My mom and my sister were at my house while I was at work because my sister very graciously mowed my lawn for me. (It looks so pretty!) Here's my list of thankful's: * I'm thankful they were there, otherwise my floors would have been ruined by water damage. *I'm also thankful because Aaron said he could put a new one in for me. A savings of about $300.00. Thank you Jesus! Thank you Aaron! *Then, after work, my co-worker Frank offered to take me to Lowe's and pick up the new one in the pick up truck. He then brought it into my house and will come back Thursday and help Aaron install it. *I'm thankful that Lowe's was about $100.00 cheaper than Home Depot *I'm thankful that the office has a shower so I can still bath in hot water. :) *I'm thankful that the Lord always provides for my needs! Without fail! God is good, all the time.

Season's

2007-09-17T18:23:00.000-07:00

For the last couple of days I've talked with several friends that are experiencing new things with their children. It made me go back and reflect on my own experiences. I remember how rejected I felt when Chris didn't want to sit with me, he wanted to sit with his friends and he quit sharing things with me and then I found out he was sharing them with a girlfriend. I remember thinking, how dare she take my place like that! Then I remember the Lord showing me the other side of it. If we have been successful as parents our children are supposed to grow up and leave home. When Chris wanted to hang out with his friends and I wasn't "cool" anymore, the Lord said, good job Rhonda, you've taught him how to be a friend. When he shared his secrets with Kendra, the Lord said, you taught him to trust and to love. When he spent money taking a friend to the movie rather than me, you've taught him to be generous and to be a giver. Every single thing the enemy tried to use to make a wedge the Lord revealed a counterpart. God is so amazing . Cherish all the season's, they are growth, they are life. One day they will call and say Mom, could I talk to you? Mom, do you want to go see a movie with me and my wife ? The season's always return and you'll be "cool" again.

Everlasting God

2007-09-15T06:50:00.000-07:00

I love this song, as I was singing it to the Lord this morning, I just wanted to share the words of it. It is by New Life Worship and is the title to this blog. One thing I know that I have found through all the troubles that surround You are the Rock that never fails, You never fail. One thing I know that I believe, through every blessing I receive You are the only One that stays, You always stay. You never change, You're still the same, You are the everlasting God You will remain after the day is gone and things of the earth have past Everlasting God, everlasting, everlasting, everlasting God. Be blessed today my friends. the Lord is with you. Love Rhonda

Those Eyes

2007-09-13T18:38:00.000-07:00

After work today I was doing some things around the house and decided to frame and hang a new Army picture of my son. He is so handsome and so grown up. I smiled as I looked at the photo and cried as I looked into the eyes of my little boy. Those are the same eyes that danced when he saw me come into the room, the same eyes that cried and I wiped the tears away; the eyes that with arms stretched up said Momma, hold me. Yesterday I was telling Diann that I would love to go back and get to do it all again. The time goes so quickly. I'm very proud of the man he has become. Friday he is off to Jackson, South Carolina for seven weeks and then he will relocate to a destination that is unknown right now. He is such an overcomer and a great achiever and if you haven't guessed yet, I love him very much.

Church Not As Usual

2007-09-09T13:35:00.000-07:00

I made it to morning church service and it was awesome. Praise and worship just gets better and better. Our church family was moving into the presence of the Lord with no apologies! Allison spoke out and I could tell it was something that was burning inside of her. Thanks Allison for being obedient. There's a scripture that came to mind when she spoke in Matthew 7:29 "for He (Jesus) taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes." She spoke with a knowing, an authority. Rock on Allison! I had to sneak out early due to the pain level. I miss the kids so much, they ran to me eager to hug me and tell me something. I'm so blessed and I love each of them! I've been seeking the Lord for the name of our next phase. Yes, for those who know me well, I love a great theme. Of course it is underwater as I've said before and here is where the Lord led me. The Gulf of Ravah. Ravah (raw-vaw) Hebrew. It means to refresh and satisfy the thirst (occasionally of other appetite's). To bathe, make drunk, fill, satiate abundantly and to soak. I went back and forth with cove, gulf, ocean, and port; finally I looked them up in the dictionary and decided on gulf. Gulf: a portion of the ocean or sea partly closed by land. A deep, hollow chasm or abyss. Any wide separation. To swallow up. The kids have been separated, set apart (consecrated) for the Lord. The word chasm means a marked interruption. Hallelujah!! The Lord is going to move through these kids like never before. They will prophesy and lay hands on the sick and raise the dead, spiritual as well as physical! I'm so ready to come back next week. Isn't' God good? Yes, He is!

Man Chores

2007-09-08T18:45:00.000-07:00

Well, first of all, a great big thank you to all who prayed and/or called. When I went to the Dr. Friday , there was a tangible presence there. When the nurse took me to the room she smiled and said okay how are your nerves and I opened my mouth and heard this woman say, "I'm great." When I was sitting in the room waiting for the Dr. I remember looking down and my feet and thinking, "Why aren't you running?" I laughed out loud at this thought. He did a different procedure and told me it would burn; It did not. Praise the Lord! I go back on the 21st to have stitches removed. Today I conquered some of the "man chores" I have around the house. I went to Lowe's and purchased a new door bell button, mine was broken. I thought." I wonder how hard that will be to replace?" The Holy Spirit corrected me and instructed me to say instead, "I wonder how easy that will be to replace?" I know this may sound dumb to some of you, but this is huge to me. By the way, it was quite easy. Next I put filler in a nail hole from the bathroom towel rod that had wallowed out and would no longer hold the bar much less a towel. After it dried, I placed a plug in it and screwed the towel rod back in good as new. Then I put a hook on the bathroom window sill. It is located in the shower and is perfect to hang a towel on. I installed a bar with hooks on it in my broom closet to hang my broom and mops on. It looks pretty spiffy. Whew, I think I'll let my drill cool for now, but I have confidence to conquer other projects. And just to make a pint, after all that I threw on an apron and cooked a fabulous meal. What a woman!

Peace

2007-09-06T19:34:00.000-07:00

Well tomorrow is the day I've dreaded for over a week. As I write this out though I have a quite calm about my spirit. I think really it is a confidence because I know that the Lord will not fail me. Whatever the pain or lack of, it will not last forever. I am so over being in this season! I am healed and I am whole in the name of Jesus. Thanks for all the prayers and phone calls and e-mails. I love you guys.

Alarming

2007-09-03T08:49:00.000-07:00

Last week I sleepily reached over to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock as it rang out the annoying beep, beep, beep that could cause even the sleepiest person to arise and shut it off. I remember thinking "well, there is the end of a great nights sleep", but even as I drifted back into my slumber that phrase kept resonating in my spirit. Alarms...they signify the end of one thing, but the beginning of another. They ring a bell to signify class has started and the end of one class room session to begin another. One rings out to end school for the day. Alarms are sounded when there is danger, firetrucks, police and EMS use sirens to ring out "Move out of the way, I'm coming!" Smoke alarms cry out to notify us of danger. We honk our car horns to say watch out, I'm here. Our Lord will sound a trumpet to say , "Ready or not here I come!" Zephaniah 1:14-16 "The great day of the Lord is near; It is near and hastens quickly. The noise of the day of the Lord is bitter . There the mighty men shall cry out. That is a day of wrath. a day of trouble and distress. A day of devastation and desolation, a day of darkness and gloominess. A day of thick clouds and darkness, a day of trumpet and alarm against the fortified cities and against the high towers. Here we see the trumpet was used to signal the approach of an enemy. Alarm is a war shout. And high towers were built in the corners of walls so that the enemy could be attacked from all sides and be caught in a crossfire of arrows and stones. I believe as Christians there is an alarm ringing out in our spirits that say get up;wake up. It is coming to the end of a season. Will you hit the snooze button and lull back off into your comfortable slumber? Will you keep laying there while I'm warning you that danger is fast approaching? I know that I can hit the snooze on my alarm only so many times before it stops warning me. There have been times that I have been too tired to hit the snooze and I just adjusted myself and became deaf to the noise. Let's not wait until the hour is past and the warning stops or we become deaf to the crying out. We serve a God who is coming back for a Bride. We have to help prepare His Bride. It is not just about getting ourselves ready, it's going to be a big wedding. Just now, my phone rang, it was my BFF and we were talking about this blog. I told her that when I'm not in the presence of God, it seems like a long time in between. Even one day seems long. Time is different in His Holy Presence, it almost stands still. I was reading Psalm 66 and 67 this morning and it made me cry because His Word evokes such emotion from me, my spirit rejoices. His Word is alive and it is an alarm. "Make a joyful shout to God, all the earth."

Something Missing

2007-09-02T20:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my son, his wife and his best friend Jason came for a visit. The boys all pitched in and moved some junk off my parents property for them. It was neat to see them all grown up and doing something so nice for someone else, just because. Today we spent the day eating out and going to a movie and just being together. Chris was sick with sinus drainage, they left around 7 p.m. My house is so loudly quite. I'm feeling lonely. I went on line and read some blogs of other people at another church. They are so much like family, they love one another and hang out together and actually know what's going on in each others lives. They blog and they comment on others blogs. It made me cry because I long for what they have. They are Kingdom living. I have a few freinds who call to see how I'm feeling since the surgery, but somehow there is something missing. I read prayer requests from a list made at church and many times there are people on it who I have no idea who they are. I don't want to be a "seasonal" friend. Friends are there thick and thin all the time, not just when there is a crisis. The other day I really needed someone to pray with me. I was at a place where I couldn't even pray for myself. I spoke with four differant people and three said, 'I'll keep you in my prayers or I'll remember you in prayer. One person said Rhonda , let me pray for you right now and she lives hudreds of miles away. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Am I missing something? are we all too busy? I want people to want to hang around with me, not because they feel obligated or something.

Kingdom Thinker

2007-08-30T19:39:00.000-07:00

Today I spoke with the nurse at my doctor's office. She assured me that the pain I am having is expected and that when I go in next week the procedure will be painful. She instructed me to take 2 pain pills before arriving at the office. I have to be honest, after getting that news I cried, I felt fear, I felt panic, I felt more fear and even felt a bit overwhelmed, then I went numb. Then the enemy attacks my thoughts with "your being punished for going back to Kevin after I warned you not to." I'm fighting back! That is a lie from the pits of hell. Yes, there are consequences for our sins, however, my illness has nothing to do with that and as a matter of fact, I had symptoms of this for several months before I even considered reconciliation. Furthermore, I am forgiven! Then there's the overwhelmed part; I could make a good sized list of things that seem unfair and at one moment it seemed like it is too much. Then I am reminded that the Lord will not put more on me than I can handle. Satan would love to get me distracted but I declare that NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING can distract a Kingdom thinker!!! An exert from a book by Jentezen Franklin says, "God gets His best sailors from the roughest seas and His fiercest soldiers from the toughest battles. God can use what you have experienced to bless others." I am gonna bless someones socks right off their feet. Psalm 46:5 "God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God shall help her, just at the break of dawn." Colossians 3:15 "...let the peace of God rule your heart." There are many others scriptures that are flooding my heart right now. I praise the Lord. He is my Strength, my Strong tower, my Deliverer and my Joy. I'll end with this :Colossians 2:15 "Having disarmed principalities and powers, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it."

When I Grow Up...

2007-08-29T08:17:00.000-07:00

I recently heard a conversation about what you want to be when you grow up. When I was very young all I wanted was to be married and have children. Then I wanted to be a teacher. My sister says I was very bossy. If we played Monopoly I had to be the Banker or I wouldn't play. Looking back I think it wasn't so much of wanting to be in charge as it was that I didn't trust the accuracy of anyone else. In high school I wanted to be an oceanographer and I never wanted to be married or have children. I planned to join the Navy after graduation, but then I fell in love. I did get to be a teacher, I did get married, twice and have one son in the natural and hundreds in the spiritual. I still love the ocean, but the movie "Jaws" ruined me for actually getting into the water. I've watched that movie over fifty times! So, what did you want to be when you grew up and did you fulfill your dreams?

Surely, He has healed me

2007-08-23T03:35:00.000-07:00

God is amazing. It is 5:30 a.m. , the time on my template is wrong. Yesterday I had a wonderful date with Jesus. We danced, we sang, we cried and held onto one another. I fell in love all over again. This morning at 3:00 I was awakening from a dream. In the dream I saw a huge Bible open. there was a magnifying glass moving over the text. As I focused and looked into the glass I saw 2 Kings 21. I instantly woke up. I thought I need to remember that, was it 1 Kings or 2. The Holy Spirit said 2 Kings and read it now. I reached for the lamp, my glasses and opened my Bible up to 2 Kings 21 and began to read. It was not something you want to read right before surgery. I ask God what it meant and then went back to sleep. When I got up at4:30 I decided to read it again since I was more awake. Maybe i had heard wrong and it was 1 Kings. I read it and it also was not what I thought the Lord was showing me. Then the holy Spirit said look at your Bible again, but look on the left side. Aha! I saw 2 Kings 20:1 Hezekiah's Life extended. Rejoice, Rejoice, my God reigns, my God reigns. Hezekiah got a miracle, he was healed by God with the use of medicine. I am healed in Jesus Name! My house is in order. He has heard my prayers and seen my tears; surely He has healed me!

Things To Do

2007-08-22T12:48:00.001-07:00

Well, by this time tomorrow I hope to be home and recovering from surgery. I'm still not ruling out that it may not happen if God so chooses. Yesterday I had a case of nerves over the whole thing. I even wrote out a will. Today His mercies are new and my faith is restored. I have many things to do for the Kingdom and I have an appointed time to die or be raptured out of here. Worrying will not do any good and it would bring pleasure to the enemy if he could distract me. I'm ready to be back in action and preparing for the next phase in the children's ministry. If you haven't read my newsletter, grab one off the table in the front foyer of the church. I'll need some help decorating the room. Any volunteers?

Marked For Life

2007-08-21T19:11:00.000-07:00

Today as I drove to differant places I noticed how there were indications of how far up the parking lots of businesses the water had risen. The water didn't sit there for very long, and when it subsided it left it's mark on everything it touched. It got me to thinking about being in the presence of God. Once He lets the rain fall and you get in it; it will leave an indelible mark. If the ocean can shape a mountain side by hurling itself against it time and again how much more can we be changed by soaking in His presence. Using the same analogy the Lord showed me how they barricaded some streets so that cars would not flood out or cause a wake in the water that would flood homes. He said some people are like that in that they don't want to drown out in His presence. They really don't even want there feet wet. They have placed barricades around themselves and when others around them get wet and play in the "water" their barricades keep the wake from entering into their homes. O Lord, saturate me.

Did You Flood?

2007-08-20T19:56:00.000-07:00

Today it seemed like I was in phone hell. Of the nearly 700 tenants at least 500 called to ask if we flooded. Okay so maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit. I had one guy say are you sure? Yes, Sir, I'm sure. Well, he says, I saw on the news that you did. No Sir we didn't, I'm not lying to you and if you would like to why not drive over and see for yourself. We have a second story that is perched above another building at least 13 feet off the ground. Yes, even those people called to make sure there things were dry. Stress makes people stupid! I am so very thankful that we didn't flood and that I didn't have to come in and clean up a mess or make 500 phone calls to inform them we flooded. Praise you Lord! \o/ Louis came by the office to check things out, I told him he couldn't go on vacation anymore because weird things happen when he's gone.

Daughter of Troops

2007-08-17T15:45:00.000-07:00

I have a customer named Nicole. She has been a tenant for a couple of years and suffers from great anxiety and depression. she was diagnosed as bi-polar. She has let me pray with her on several occasions and today she came in the office sobbing uncontrolably. She felt hopeless and unloved. she often speaks of suicide. She has two small children and says she goes to a nondenominational church. She lives with her parents and said that they condemn her continually and call her a bad parent because she has to live with them. I talked with her and prayed with her and as she left she said may I please just have a hug. I just want to feel love. It broke my heart. I know how that feels just to need that human touch , no words, just unconditional love. I'm asking Daughter of Troops to join with me and stand in the gap for this young woman. I'm asking for daily prayer for her to be free from opression, depression, condemnation and all lies of the enemy.

Rain

2007-08-17T07:59:00.000-07:00

I just love the rain. Last night I laid in bed and watched the lightening blast through my window with bursts of energy. God is so brilliant! I got out of bed and went to my dining room window to look out across the deck at the rain. I love the way it looks on the Morning Glories that have wrapped themselves around the decking. It was being hurled from the heavens so hard that my wind chimes were dancing and singing loudly. As I stood there I began to feel moisture on my feet. I thought wow, I'm so into this I actually feel my feet getting wet. Then I turned on the light and yes, my feet were indeed wet. My window sill was leaking and rain is coming in from the bottom of my door. ARGH... I pushed a rug under it to absorb the moisture and calmly stated. Lord, You are my husband. This is one of those "guy" things and I need Your help to get this one fixed. I know He will. My "honey do" list never gets too long because He is so faithful. I watched the rain some more and the retired again and slept so good.

Quirks

2007-08-16T11:50:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day my associate is gone on vacation. I miss him already. I find that I have become comfortable with the routine. I've adjusted myself and gotten used to most of the quirks (there are still some that I don't get) and I'm sure he had to adjust to mine. Here is a list of some of my work quirks:

I like things in a certain spot. Everything has a spot.
I want things put back in their place.
I don't like it when someone creates a new spot for something that already has a spot!
I do things in a certain order and I don't like to diviate from that order. (No I don't have OCD)
I can be stingey and not want anyone to touch my stuff
I like closure. Those who know me well have heard me say that closure is a good thing
I hate it when someone writes on my desk calendar
I want to be the first to read the newspaper because when I read it I put it back in the exact order and neatness that I got it (sometimes better)
I like to write with black gel pens
I am repulsed by the bathroom habits of the men in this office :p Have they not been taught the double flush? The temp. guy has been in the bathroom for 20 minutes, I'm frightened.
I don't like it when people stand behind my chair and hover over me.
I'm not very fond of change
I like large paper clips, not the small ones
I hate it when the decimal on my calculator is moved
I hate country music. I don't want to hear even one "twang about momm's dog or the train that hit it."
Speaking of trains, I'm so amazed that we run on the exact same schedule, everyday!

Okay, I'll stop there. I feel better now. Hurry back Louis !

Heavenly Places

2007-08-12T18:24:00.000-07:00

Today K.I.D.S. Church was AMAZING! During worship most of the children were really moving into worship. You could actually feel the room atmosphere change as God's presence was made known. After the teaching segment we spent some time "soaking". The whole room was quite and I watched little hands reaching out for God and waiting for Him to speak to them. They were expecting Him to speak to them. He did! After soaking we talked about what God said to each person (only if they wanted to share). There were three different ones that saw waterfalls. Several saw heaven. I allowed them to draw and/or color what God had showed them. One child that saw heaven was drawing her picture she said there was more than one waterfall. She said you know what's weird Miss Rhonda, the sky was not blue it was gold and I felt like I could play in the water. Another child saw her dog and felt so happy to see it again. she said it was playing in heaven. Last week a 10 year old drew flames and said it was God's word. Jeremiah 23:29 "Is not my word like fire, declares the Lord." I believe there was a Holy visitation. I believe they saw what they said they saw and the experience was very real. God is speaking to our children and they are willing to go places many of us will not. One of my interns said he saw children leading the church and was reminded that a "little child shall lead them." Children's church is not the same. Like I always say, there is life in the back!

Achey, Breaky Heart

2007-08-09T18:43:00.000-07:00

This has been an incredible evening. It all really started last night in church. The worship was different. There was such an anointing. I wished it hadn't ended and to be honest I don't think it should have. I think God wanted to do something. But that is my opinion. Never the less it left me hungry for more. When I got home from work today I had a feeling like I missed God. It was strange and more like a yearning. My spirit was longing for His presence. He was calling me to come and dance with Him, laugh with Him and cry with joy as we embraced. As wonderful as it was it left me thinking about my part. He called to me, how often do I call out to Him, cry out for Him other than when I'm in a situation of need. For myself. not nearly as often as I should. David cried out for God, his heart longed for God. I have had that feeling in my heart and my spirit. I want more ! God deserves more! He is holy and worthy. "My heart is steadfast, O God; I will sing and make music with all my soul. Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise You, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of You among the peoples. For great is Your love, higher than the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens, and let your glory be over all the earth." Psalm 108:1-5 I choose to dance with Him, to enter His sanctuary and to hold His hand . He has captured my heart and He causes me to sing. He draws it out of me. I love Him ! I am awestruck and like a deer in the headlights, my gaze is fixed upon His glorious light. I pray that the body of Christ would become more sensitive to the move of the Holy Spirit and that each one would abandon our agendas, leave our watches at home and worship Him in reckless abandonment. What if we gathered and cried out to Him with the kind of aching in our hearts that we have when we loose someone or something precious to us or when we want an answered prayer. Except we would be crying out just for Him, nothing else, no favors, just because He is God. Even as type this out I feel like shouting. I think I will. <><><><><><><><>< I wish I had a Shofar but i do have a little horn like the ones that are around at New Years. Sometimes, like tonight I blow that horn. It signifies God to me. It is a declaration. God is good.

Fountain of Life

2007-08-08T07:30:00.000-07:00

As... I go into the secret place and fall down on my face. I can feel the denstiy of the air around me change. I can hear Your glorious robe rustle as it dances around You. You move precise, determined, and confident towards me. Your embrace is flawless. One glance from You can break a heart hardened or lovingly carress a heart humbled. Fountain of life---You offer me a drink and a bath. Cleansed, quenched and satisfied, I drink deeply.

Mom's pride

2007-08-07T13:46:00.000-07:00

Have I let a whole hour go by wiothout saying how proud I am of my son? Well, I am sooo proud of him. He is about to be promoted to E-6. He took the test and passed. Chris is so smart and so pasasionate about what he does whether that's work or friendship...whatever it is. He is continually moving forward and will not settle. He works hard for what he has. He and his wife are doing very well. She is one of the most caring people I've ever known. She has a servant's heart. Chris told me before they were married that one of the things he loved about her was that she would motivate him not to settle. They make a great couple. Thanks for indulging a mom to brag on her children. God is good and I am greatly favored.

His Glory

2007-08-05T19:15:00.000-07:00

Last week I was in a church meeting and God was moving mightily. At some point the leader stated, Lord, I want to see Your glory. He ask everyone there to repeat and cry out to God, "Lord show us Your glory." I have learned enough to know not to do everything suggested. And although it was well meaning, I'm not sure they understood what they were asking. When I had my surgery, I realized that God was using this time to do a surgery in my inner most parts. I could see this only when I was in His glory. When your in His glory you can understand the meaning behind the event and you stop fighting with it because in the glory you understand that all things work out for the good of those who love Christ Jesus and are called according to His purpose. (thanks Mark Chironna). God took me to a whole new level. This next surgery, if it actually happens, is to sew up a place that did not heal. It is still an open wound on the inside even though on the outside it appears to be closed. It will rebuild and form into another abscess if not corrected. That is how bitterness and unforgiveness to name a couple of things will be in our lives if not corrected. We can look all spiritual and whole on the outside, but if things like that lay just below the surface they will build up and poison your entire body and if not dealt with and cut out you will die. In God's glory, I can see things in my spirit that must be cut out. Bitterness and unforgiveness must die so that He can live in me. Once again I can see the work He is doing in me and once again He will take me to a new level. I hope that my countenance will be so changed that people will notice without me saying a word. In His glory my perception is changed. I see His goodness and His mercy. I see His great love. I love Him beacuse He first loved me. Not because He loved me first but because He loved, I am able to love Him. God is love I praise You Lord! Remember, God wants to do you good.

Waterfalls

2007-08-05T18:15:00.000-07:00

I love waterfalls. There not only beautiful but I love closing my eyes and just hearing the sound. They are powerful and they drown out all the surrounding noises as the water plunges down mountain sides. Psalm 42:7 "Deep calls to deep in the roar of Your waterfalls; all Your waves and breakers have swept over me." Such a beautiful verse. Many times I imagine myself in a pool of warm water tucked away in some remote place at the base of a majestic mountain. As I seek more of God, He draws me into the deep. Suddenly a large wave crashes into my serene pool and catapults me into unfamiliar water. I am not afraid, it is refreshing. I swim, I float, I tread and even dive. The waves rush back and forth lulling me . Each time I return to the pool it seems larger, deeper and the water becomes more and more clear. I love to soak, to be immersed and saturated in His presence. The waves cleanse and soothe. There is a waterfall running into my pool and sometimes I climb behind it. I am safe. I can't hear anything but the melody of the roaring water singing me a love song and calling me closer. I could stay here forever....

God's timing

2007-08-04T12:19:00.000-07:00

The last three weeks I've gone by to see if Antoine & Antoinio (the boys I mentor) and no one came to the door. I left notes and they have no phone. Today after work, I was going to the grocery store and out of the blue the Lord said go to their house. I thought OK, but their not going to be there. As I turned onto their street I could see two little bodies making their way down the road pushing a bike. From the distance I could see it was them because when Antoine saw my car his face lit up with the biggest smile. If I hadn't have gone right then when the Lord spoke, I would have missed that opportunity. Thank you Father for making a way when there is none. My son told me he has been selected for a new assignment as a Recruiter. He will be so good at that. The best part is with this assignment he will not be deployed! :) It will last for three years and extend his exit date by 8 months. But when it ends, so will his service to the Army. God is so good and so creative in how he works everything out. I and others had prayed for this. Every day I declare that my son will stay stateside. Hallelujah and glory to God! He is faithful! This is so very mild compared to my reaction right after he told me. My neighbors probably sighed and said there goes the kook again. I don't care..

Little By Little

2007-08-03T07:32:00.000-07:00

God is sooooo wonderful!!! The last blog I posted got some attention I didn't expect. For those who don't know me as well, as I stated in the last post I have dealt with some things far too long. I have repented and I am delivered! Some do not see the progress and want to point out that I'm in a sad state because it has taken so long. I say Thank you God that I am an overcomer and it may have taken too long, but it is done. To quote Joyce Myers, "I may not be where I need to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be." There have been many people in my life that represented authority to me and than abused that relationship through manipulation. It is something I have not discussed with people, but I have left it in the arms of God. It is something I now recognize quickly! Some people are always looking at lack and so those people around them never quite "arrive". Duet. 7:22-23 says, "And the Lord your God will drive out those nations before you little by little; you will be unable to destroy them at once lest the beasts of the field become too numerous for you. But the Lord your God will deliver them over to you, and you will inflict defeat upon them until they are destroyed." Another words, you will be overwhelmed if they are driven out all at once. Also notice he says until they are destroyed; again indicating it is a process. So, little by little I have taken back ground that the enemy has stolen or been given. I am thankful that there are people in my life past and present that are concerned with my well being and I know God brings correction, but He also brings compassion, grace, mercy, and encouragement. When someone is struggeling it is not the time to point out their faults and failures and in effect "kick them when their down". Instead we should reach out with the extended arm of God we are supposed to be and offer them a hand up. Don't point and say I've come further than you....if you do, you are in effect saying I'm up too high to reach you. To take a quote from my Lord, "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?" Job 38:2 If you have not been in my life for many years than you do not know me, do not judge me. I am a new creation!

Do you recognize me ?

2007-07-31T07:25:00.000-07:00

When I went to post this I looked back to see when my last post was. It had only been three days but I was so sure it was over a week. Things have been "wild" in my life. I know that God is doing a work in me and He is removing things that have to go in order for me to have more room for Him. The exposing part has been difficult and at first I didn't recognize what was happening. The day before yesterday I found myself standing in front of my bedroom mirror and I looked and said "Who are you?" I don't even feel like myself because of the attitude I've had. My emotions have been all over the place like a racket ball in an agressive match. As I write that line I realize it is a match between my flesh and the Spirit. I have been so grouchy and negative towards my self and others. One person in particular I felt sure was justified, but this morning the Lord in all His mercy showed me otherwise. He said Rhonda, you all have choices, what you choose is up to you. When someone else does something contrary to what you believe to be the right thing it is still their choice. Okay Lord I understand that, but the thing this person does will cause ______(fill in the blank for yourself). He said "And..." Well Lord it makes me so mad because than if they do ____ I will have to ___. " So Rhonda, what your saying is that it is more about what effect this person's choice will have on you rather than the choice itself". Well, yes. Wow, I didn't see that one coming. I'm mad at this person's choice because of it's effect on me. Basically I'm mad at them because it will make me uncomfortable to say "No". The spirit of intimidation doesn't like me to to say no. It wants me to stay in bondage. What if they get mad, what if they reject me, what if.... " Rhonda, what if you stop bowing to the god of fear, to the spirit of rejection and intimidation. What if you keep your eyes on Me and serve Me only. What if you were that free. What would your life look like? How would people then see you? Why not let Me be Me and allow yourself to be molded into the woman that I see you as, that I created you to be. Why not let others make the same decisions for themselves so that they can grow as well. When you interfere by trying to figure out a better way that suits you, you are also hendering that person from growing and changing. Stop it! With all humility and humbleness I answer, yes, Lord. I repent for trying to be Holy Ghost Jr. You are God and do not need my opinion or my attitude. I ask for forgiveness and I thank you for great grace and mercy. I repent for jealousy, self loathing and for listening to the lies of the enemy. I 've always heard if you truly love something let it go and if it is meant to be yours it will return to you. Letting go can be very difficult whether it is letting go of someone and allowing them to fail or succeed or an attitude or even a way of doing things. Father knows best is an understatement and it seems so simple. It is that simple, I make it hard when I stop trusting Him. When all of this is done and it will be; I will again stand in front of the mirror and say "Who are You" the differance from the first time will be the smile on my face and the strength of my faith and the image of my heavenly Father reflecting from my heart.

Random Thought

2007-07-27T20:13:00.000-07:00

Today I was thinking about how we go to meeting in church and expect God to move a certain way in order to know He was present. We are waiting and watching for things to happen based on what has happened in past experiences so we can "feel" a certain way and know He was with us. When I get together with my BFF it is not the same every time. I mean there are certain things likely to happen. If we're on a trip going somewhere new, we are likely going to do a U turn somewhere and it is almost certain one of us will say "it's always an adventure". However, each one of those trips is different. Our conversations are different our experiences are different. Sometimes we just sit on the couch and veg out or go to the mall. Whatever we do it is relational and we go away knowing we were together that day. Stay with me here... Why then do we wait upon God and say if this or that didn't happen that there was not a great move or visitation ? What if God just wanted to sit beside you and listen to the wind blow and just enjoy being in your company. What if during a time of prayer and worship He wanted us to go in a different direction and we have to do a U turn. Do we dare to risk it? Sometimes when we have taken a wrong turn we have seen some sites we might have otherwise missed and sometimes the way turns out to be better than the way Map Quest said to go. Many, many times Map Quest is wrong. The maps haven't been updated and construction has taken place and roads have changed and street name have changed and been added. My point is that we box God in and we look for Him to be in a certain direction at the X on the map. What would happen if we just enjoyed the "ride" and let God direct our paths. Just a random thought...

Altar of Praise

2007-07-26T07:36:00.000-07:00

Tuesday I went to the doctor. I have to have surgery again. Luke 18:42 says "And Jesus said unto him, Receive thy sight; thy faith has saved thee." I have recieved my sight. I see this mountain, but I'm not going to climb it. I'm going to stand right here and build an altar of praise for my loving Father. I see a mighty God who has all power and can cause this mountain to be cast into the sea forever. I see a loving God who cares about my well being . I am a daughter of the Most High and as a daughter I have many benefits, one being divine health. Jesus took it back from the enemy. I don't even have to battle for it. It is a gift as a beliver and I recieve it with open arms and an open heart. Remember, God wants to do us good! I love You Lord and I bow at Your feet and I ask Lord, what can I do for You . Youv'e done everything for me. Your glorious and beautiful and I'm so in love with You. I see You Lord, in all Your splendor seated high upon Your throne at the right hand of the Father. I love that song by Ross Parsley.."Here in Your presence I come undone, here in Your presence heaven and earth become one. You are wonderful, matchless in everyway." There is none like You . You alone are God!

train dream

2007-07-23T11:51:00.000-07:00

Last night's Daughter of Troops meeting was so great. I'm so happy to get to know all the ladies that I don't know very well. I had a strange dream last night. I am sure it is related to our D.O. T. meeting. In the dream I was standing on a grassy area and there was a very defined area between the grass and the sand. The desert area was a large place and in the far distance I could see an old partial train track with three train cars on it. The cars were all linked together. I wanted to go over and look at the train and the very moment I touched my toe to the sand I was in the train car, although I don't know which one. At this point it was as though I was watching a movie. I could see myself standing in an open doorway. There was a door in front of me and I opened it and there was a long hallway with many doors on either side of the aisle. I stepped out of the doorway to open one of the hall doors. The door where I had been standing slammed shut. When I opened one of the doors in the hall there was a brick wall. I shut it and tried several others I opened all had walls . When I went back to the one I had orginally been standing in, it too had a wall. There was no escape. I almost panicked and then I saw Kevin (my ex-husband). He was leaning against the wall down a ways from me. He didn't seem to notice I was there. I approached him and he looked more handsome than I ever remember him looking. He smiled and seemed glad I was there, but he never moved from leaning against the wall. I said "I need to talk to you, I have something important to tell you." He smiled and said okay. Then I said "Kev, I just wanted to tell you goodbye." ( Even as I type this out I feel emotional. ) I felt such a surge of emotion that I awoke from my sleep and I tried so hard to go back to sleep because the dream didn't seem to end the way I wanted it to. I could not. All morning I've thought about it, I've pondered the meaning. I feel sad, angry, rejected, grouchy.... Sad, I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm still grieving the end of a relationship that was only good in my mind. Angry, I didn't get to choose how the dream ended. What had I done. Rejected, he didn't chase after me confessing his undying love, begging me to stay. Grouchy, I have to face yet another truth. I left him a long time ago in the worldly, physical realm, but I thought about him every day. Good and bad thoughts. Maybe after last nights D.O.T. I was able to release him in the spiritual realm. I dont know...I could guess several things the dream might mean. Closed doors, no escape, no turning back (that one has been a continual message God has given me through the years through dreams and prophets). At the meeting last night Molly said in reference to the dying to self that it was more than that. She said it really is saying "goodbye Molly". Maybe that's what I did. I didn't get to choose how it ended because it just ended. It is finished as our Lord said. I have overcome many, many ,many things concerning Kevin. this will not be an acception. The gouuchyness is just because my flesh didn't get it's way. Thank you Father for loving me so much and for being so patient. I've been like the Israelites where he is concerned . What should have been a short journey has in fact been 20 years in the making. Forgive me Lord.

Scent of Heaven

2007-07-20T15:22:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up excited to go into my prayer room and meet with God. I was not disappointed! As I left the room to make ready for my day I could smell a sweet aroma. It was sort of like Honeysuckle. I don't have any Honeysuckle growing nor do my neighbors that I know of. I wasn't wearing perfume or burning candles or anything. As I walked into the living room it was like walking into a mist of this aroma. I believe it was the presence of God I was smelling. I have heard of this and I have heard some say they could smell roses. I think the more we walk in the Spirit, we can expect things like this . Remember God is supernatural. Expect the unexpected. I'm not saying I'm looking for things or proof or anything like that. I'm just saying I know He is real and I know His voice and I can feel His presence and today I could smell His presence.

Pregnant

2007-07-18T19:25:00.000-07:00

Before anyone gets too excited about the title. No I'm not! At least not in the natural. All day today I've felt an excitement. It is coming from the depths of me. Tonight at church I could feel it in the air. there was an expectancy. The worship seemed more alive, there were more people than usual for a Wednesday night, there was laughter; a reunion of sorts. I remember when I was pregnant with my son. I couldn't wait for him to move. Once he did, wow. The boy was a kicker! After that initial time I came to look forward to his movement except maybe when he got under my rib cage. Ouch. I could hardly wait for him to be born. What will he look like? I know he will be beautiful. The doctor explained that the baby had to drop and get into the proper position in order to be born. I believe it will be that way for Bethel. We are starting to see signs of new life and a birthing is taking place right before our very eyes. God is positioning us and His move is about to be born. I can hardly wait to see what it will look like. I know it will be beautiful! On my drive home I turned off the A/C and rolled down the window. There was a crispness in the air. A fresh breeze. A new season..........

Unity/Destiny

2007-07-18T07:18:00.000-07:00

Monday's Kingdom teaching was so good. Pastor Frank spoke about the "body" of Christ It isn't about a denomination or an attendance number. We are all the body. Earlier this year I heard a teaching on unity. Unity is more than just a body gathered in a building and holding hands. When each of us go out and do the things the Lord had called us to do as individuals and we move as His body, then we are truly united. If ABC Church has a great ministry for the homeless and XYZ Church has an awesome worship team it does not make one greater in the eyes of God. It does not mean that ABC is "The Church". We are all the body, big or small We have boxed God in and our ideas of unity are far smaller than God's. We tend not to see the whole picture. We are all blood related because of the shed blood of Jesus. We simply must, must, must be Kingdom minded. Our thinking must shift from a natural realm to a supernatural realm. (Thank you Bill Johnson for your wise words). Things of the Spirit should be a natural occurrence to us. So many of has have listened to the lies of the enemy. We sing songs of worship to our Jesus, Songs of deliverance, power and adoration to the King, but do we live in that deliverance and that power? For myself, most times I'm afraid I have to say no. I stood last night and I called out timidity, intimidation, fear of pain, self pity, unworthiness, comparing myself to others, spirit of poverty leave in the name of Jesus. You are not of God and cannot dwell in His temple! I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. I am not a victim, I am victorious. I am unique and God created me with a specific purpose and plan. He loves me because I'm me. The King is enthralled with my beauty. I will not curl up, shrink back or drop behind. I am a child of the Most High God! The devil is a liar.

I call forth my son, he will be saved and lead his family to Christ. He is a believer and belongs to the Kingdom of God.
I call forth self control. You are the fruit of the Spirit and the Holy Spirit dwells in me. Therefore, I operate in the fruit of self control
I call forth salvation for my sister and her husband, my neice and my nephew
I call forth prosperity of my soul and my finances
I call forth health and long life
I call forth inner beauty to shine outward
I call forth destiny to be revealed to me
I call forth wisdom

Fountain

2007-07-17T14:54:00.000-07:00

I just love Jesus so much! He gave me the idea for the beverage fountain for KIDS Church "oil spill". I saw some in the mall for $80.00 and even over $100.00. They were for chocolate. Today I received a flyer from Big Lots and they had a beverage fountain for $18.00. Thank you Jesus. Needless to say I ran right out and got it. God always makes a way but we have to do our part. I prayed and then I had to go get it ( I received). If we listen, God is always speaking. This morning I woke up and I couldn't wait to spend time with Him. He is alive in me.

Fresh Oil

2007-07-16T12:38:00.000-07:00

Wow. I can't believe I almost forgot to post this. As I prepare for the new thing God is going in K.I.D.S. Church the Lord told me there would be an oil spill. Like when there is an oil spill in the ocean it is a bad thing, but the one we will have is a great thing. Anyhow, I keep a bottle of oil with a lid on it on the altar all the times. When we had church on July 8th, the children began to move into worship and the oil got knocked over and began to pour out on the altar and make a large puddle on the floor. I didn't really think anything about it until I saw Alexis go and stand barefoot in the puddle. I motioned for her to move out of it and she would not or could not move away from it. Honestly, I don't think she could, she was so drawn to it. The Lord spoke to me and said this is a prophetic sign of things to come. She is standing in the oil of the Holy Spirit , she is soaking and becoming saturated in that anointing. After worship and not one minute before she was able to leave the area and wipe her feet. Isn't that just awesome? I'll be changing the room decor to an underwater scene so I want to get a fountain like the ones they used for beverages or chocolate and have a black liquid or actual oil coming out of it, Cool huh? Ideas welcome!

Arson

2007-07-15T18:39:00.000-07:00

Isn't God soooo good. and the cry of His children is a resounding, "Yes, He is!" Today I was in Clyde visiting at KLF Church. My parents live there, but they don't go to church there. From time to time I visit because there is something being poured out from God that I want. Now, before anyone might have the thought that I'm looking for another church, let me kill those thoughts right now. I am not. I belong at Bethel Temple, Abilene, Tx. Last year I received a Word from the Lord that I was to visit KLF in order to glean and take it back to Bethel. I have been doing that every chance I can. I see little glimpses of change at Bethel, I get so excited because I know in part what God wants to do and it is amazing! He has placed a fire in me. In Clyde they have meeting they have named BFW. It stands for Burning Fire Within. I have not been able to attend one of these meetings but I can tell you that I have a burning fire within me. I don't want to just light a match and create this cute little flame . I have handfuls of flames that I want to throw on Daughter of Troops and KIDS Church! I am a spiritual arsonist!!! I talked to Diann today and she said several people ask where I was and told me how I was missed. It felt good, I felt wanted. Not that I don't normally, but it is so nice to hear. We should encourage one another more and become more acquainted and intimate with one another. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm judging, scolding or rambling. I am excited to know the people I attend church with, my family! When we love one another so deeply, others coming into our church will notice, they will hunger for it. There is a blog site that it titled "Start World Hunger" A hunger for Jesus, for His Kingdom to come. Daughters, come....grab hold of each others hands and let us run for the prize. Right this very moment I am shaking from the excitement I feel at the thought of this great move of God. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, that was me shouting. :) I love you all and plan to be more relational than I have been. The speaker today talked about being a gold digger. Let's look for the gold in one another, for some of us (that would be me) you may have to dig a little deeper, but the treasure is so worth it. You are God's treasure !!! He loves us so much we cannot even wrap our minds around it. Imagine being so valuable to Him that He would give up his son for you. Father God, You are so amazing, so Holy and worthy. Nothing, nothing, nothing compares to You. Teach us Lord how to be more intimate with one another . You are a God of intimacy. Be glorified by the outpouring of love that we lavish upon You, our God, our King. We want to lean on You and be so close Lord that we can hear Your heartbeat and feel Your breathe upon our heads. We want to feel the tender caresses of your hand as You hold us close and call us Your beloved. We want to gaze into Your eyes and dive into the wells of Your love. Let there be open doors of mercy among us. Close all doors of judgement, in the name of Jesus. Amen