Daughter of Troops

CAN I QUIT ?

Today is just a blah day. I have this overwhelming sadness that I cannot explain. Here lately it feels like I've been attached to a bungee cord with my emotions. Extreme highs and lows. I can't seem to find a middle ground. I feel mentally exhausted. It has been a really long time since I have been in the place, but I pray the pass through will be quick. I do not wants to camp out in this place. The longer I stay, the harder it is to leave. I'm filthy from wallering in this pit of self pity. I feel invisible............

What a crazy weekend! Saturday finally arrived and I was thrilled to be off work and able to do what ever I felt like and needed to do. I decided when I woke up that I would schedule to get my hair cut, just a cut, you know simple and quick. I called and my hairdresser is on vacation but since I'm on a mission I decide that it doesn't matter and I'll let someone else cut it. So I said oh, okay well just whoever you have available. God how I wish I could take those words back. So I arrive at the mall at noon, my appointment is at 1:00 so I knew I could do some shopping. I found a new outfit and headed for the salon. The girl took me right away to her styling station and I explained that I just wanted some dead ends trimmed off. Then she proceeds to tell me what bad shape my hair is in and how the highlights are faded and how horrible it is and blah, blah, blah and by the time she's done I'm getting a trim and a colored rinse. I choose a lovely shade of brown. While s...

Yesterday I went to church in Clyde at KLF with my sister and my BFF . It was such an amazing time. The worship was OMG and the teaching was anointed. The folks there are just real people that love Jesus. My sister gave her testimony in front of hundreds of people and I am so proud of her. God is so awesome! She said she feels so loved there and I'm thrilled for her. Every time I go there I feel so stirred up and ready to jump in and do at Bethel what I feel inside. I have such a desire to do BIG things in KIDS church and I plan on breaking down some walls and religious barriers in the mighty name of Jesus. God has great plans for those children. I was praying about it yesterday and whining to God that I feel weak in certain areas. He reminded me that He is my strength and that I am lion hearted. It felt good to hear Him say it again. I think since it is my e-mail and I see it so much that my spirit had become dulled to it's meaning and to the fact that God himself gave me ...

OK , miracle #1 was my sisters salvation. #2 the results of the bone scan. The Dr. says it has to be a miracle! There is no cancer anywhere else in her body and other than the mass on her lung , her lungs are clear. Her bones are strong and slight arthritis in the shoulder area. Nothing is impossible for God!!! We are believing that when she goes for the next kemo (sp)treatment in 3 weeks that the X=ray will show her lungs clear. Yesterday she was admitted into the hospital for the 1st treatment. She said she knew that there were many angels surrounding her. She could sense them. isn't that awesome. Yes it is! I praise the Lord God almighty. He is Jehovah Rapha. He is the great Physician. We rejoice in the healing of Susan at the hand of the Master. Glory to his marvelous Name.

Today was awesome. I went to church in Clyde KLF with my sister. The worship was amazing as usual and the message was captivating. They did a call for salvation and renewal. Susan took my hand and we went to the front together and she rededicated her life to the Lord. I feel so honored to have had the chance to have that bond with her. We prayed together, took communion together, cried together and rejoiced together. Not only did God heal her, but he has healed our relationship with one another! When she got home and shared with her husband what had happened in church he said he wants to go next Sunday. Then he called his mom and she said well, if you go I'll go and his sister said if you all are going then I am too. Praise God for the chain reaction! Nothing is impossible for God. Salvation is the ultimate healing for any of us and the greatest miracle ever. I am excited to see God move upon the hearts of the other family members being called out. Thank you Jesus.

Friday Kevin called me at work. We had a storm in this part of town with some really strong winds. We have a huge tree in the front yard and one of it's limbs was a casuality to the force of the gale. It hit the driveway where my car would have been had I been home and it landed all the way across to his car. It was raining to hard for him to go outside and access the damages but it looked really bad. I called my boss to see if I could borrow hit electric chainsaw he left here and he said okay. By the time I got home the rain had stopped and I began to cut up the tree. Kevin wanted to but I said no, let me. You can move the limbs and lift the heavy parts. So team Kennedy went into full action mode. Wow, I never knew how much stress relief I would get from cutting up those limbs, but I did. Yes, I'm a lumber jill. Right after Kevin called, my sister called and said the doctor told her she had 6 months to a year to live. It took the breath right out of me to hear those haunt...

Today I have great news!!!! My little sister called me this morning, weeping and humble she said I know I'm healed. I stand in agreement with her. Last night she went to a KLF cell group meeting in Clyde U.S.A. she had been invited to. She said Rhonda, it was awesome. She made friends and God read her mail. She is so amazed because God used someone to tell things about her that no one else knew. I just love when God does that. She said I felt so loved and I can't wait to go to their church Sunday and will you come with me. YES, YES, YES! Today I read a friends blog and he was talking about letting signs and wonders, ect lead people to salvation instead of us trying to cram it down their throats. That is exactly what happened. A man who holds the cell group in his home went to where my sister works for lunch. He knew she had a bad report from the doctor via my mother. He ask how she was and before he left, he ask if he and the other person he was with could pray for...

I just finished reading the book, really, I devoured it. When I fisrt decided to write this blog I thought , geez Rhonda your in love with a book. Though that my be truth in part I now realize the reality of my feelings. As my heart pounds wildly in excitement I know that I am full of awe, hope and love over flowing for Papa. Even though the book is fiction based, I came away after reading it feeling somehow cleansed. I do hope it depicts the real Father God. I know I will read it again. I think most of us have "a shack" buried in the back woods of our pasts. Ta ta for now, I've got some gardening to do. Love Rhonda

Sing with me: "Oh, whose report shall you believe, we shall believe in the report of the Lord!" Yes. yes and amen. I went to the doctor yesterday about the "symptoms". No surgery ! Through the lifting of heavy things when I moved and the lack of fiber in my diet, the wound had reopened and is irritated. It can be reversed through a good diet, soaking in warm water and the continued touch of Jesus. Thank you all that prayed and stood in for me. Thank you for holding up my arms when they had grown tired. I do have "a knowing" that there were prayers that enabled us to touch the hem of His garment. The lifting off of the burden is so great. I am a blessed woman. Continue to pray for my sister Susan. God is not a respecter of persons and what He has done for me He will surely do for her. He is greater than any cancer, any tumors any doubt or disbelief. He is !!!!!

I've been reading this book called "The Shack" it was recommended by a friend and it is awesome! It is fiction but has many truths. I cannot resist a couple of lines to share now. God is speaking with the main character about a tragedy that happened, he blames himself because he believes God caused this tragedy to bring him to a place of repentance. This is God's response: "Just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean I orchestrate the tragedies. Don't ever assume that my using something means I caused it or that I need it to accomplish my purposes. That will only lead you to false notions about me. Grace doesn't depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors." Next, Jesus is speaking to the main guy and He tells him, ""I don't want to be the first thing among your list of values; I want to be the center of everything that happens to you. Ra...

It's almost 1:00 a.m. and I'm wide awake. I have been thinking a lot (and stressing) over "the symptons" coming back. I do believe God heals, I don't have to be perfect to be healed. I only need the faith. I have prayed for God to increase the measure of faith I've been given. The devil is a liar! I'm not being punished and I was healed the first time! The devil cannot put on me what God has delivered me from in the Name of Jesus! This is the dawning of a new day and His mercies are new every morning. "Then your light shall break forth like the dawn, and healing shall spring up quickly" Isaiah 58:8 Praise God for His love endures forever. Thank you Father, according to Your Word, whatever I ask for in prayer with faith I will receive (Matthew 21:22) . I hear Your voice saying, " Daughter your faith has made you well, go in peace, And be healed of your disease. " Mark 5:34 Brothers and sisters, please be in agreement with me and life m...

My wonderful son is 24 years old. That is so wierd to put into print. It doesn't seem possible because when I look at him I still see the 4 year old little boy that adores his mother and loves hats. And even though he is an adult by physical age, he is still my baby. As he gets older my role as mom has gone through various stages. When he needs something and I can help it thrills me . Frst of all "he still needs me". Although he has always needed me, he learned to depend on himself and others . It seems to hurt his pride when he has to ask and I can hear in his voice that this is his last resort. I love to be able to be there for him. As I was thinking about this I realized that God must feel the same way. I somethimes think that I have been a Christian for so long that when certain things come along I shy away from God because I think I'm "old enough" ( ie: " I should have known better, what is my problem") , I can do this myself. I think He will...

Three more days until I'm Rhonda Kennedy once again... My sister and I were talking about when we were kids and how we rarely did anything "special", but when a trip to the zoo or the ocean or what ever it was became a plan we we're all too excited. The promise of something so grand would soon become a flogging tool for mother to sling at you everytime you took a breath. It became the thing, the weapon you were threatened with all day every day. If you don't stop ____ were not going. If you don't hush we're not going. If you smile were' not going (literally). We talked about how we got to a point to where we would not act the least bit excited about it for fear she would take it away long before we got "it". That has become a way of life for me, don't act to happy or it may not happen . I remeber as a child holding my breath to keep from grinning and making her mad.. She hated our happiness. Well, not today! I'm grinning from ear ...

SUPERFICIAL...... the other day I was cutting tile to put down in a closet floor. I slipped with the blade and cut my finger. At first it didn't bleed and I thought "oh it's superficial." After a few moments it did bleed and it burned. The word superficial just would not go away and it began to resonate in me. So, I pondered it and thought about some things that have been on my mind lately and thought perhaps the Lord is showing me something. We all know how I love words and their definitions.I like things that are "deep". So here it is... superficial: of or relating to a surface; lying on, not penetrating below, or affecting the surface. Concerned only with the obvious or apparent:shallow. external, presenting only an appearance without substance or significance. Lacking in depth or solidity. It suggests a lack of thoroughness or a neglect of details. Wow, that can apply to many things in my life. I'm still not sure where this is going but I fo...

I have recently come to a profound awareness. I have too much stuff ! It's funny how moving will help you access things like that. I have been in the storage business for 20 years and there are many times when people get behind on their rent and we have to auction their belongings. We have cut locks and I have wondered why people would pay to store some of the things we find. So now here I am in that same boat. I have a 10 x 20 (200 square feet) packed full of things that I never use. Once in a while I raise the door for a quick reminder that I'm a pack rat. Now I've rented a 10 x 15 and it is nearly full and I haven't even put any furniture in it. Mostly boxes of books and the many other things that I collect and there is more to pack. ugh :( I have a new found empathy for my tenants. that should help with rentals, they love sympathy....don't we all? I tried to play analyst on myself. Thats a big word for I've made an excuse. When I was growning ...

This morning while I was getting ready for work the Lord said "Rhonda, if your going to travel down this same road at least plant some flowers along the way." I've pondered it all morning and have had many thoughts. There are some roads I've traveled that are full of potholes, chugholes , pits, whatever you chose to call them. Frankley I'm spent as much time off the road and in the ditch as I have on the beaten path. So, I began to think about potholes and how they need to be repaired. Once they are repaired then one can safely travel on the road again. There have been some on our city streets where I'm sure I got rice on my wheels and even after they were repaired I found myself slowing down with great caution before I drove over them. Once I hit one and my hub cap went flying like a rocket launched into someone's yard. I didn't go retrieve it...I was stunned by the jarring of my car and my head. I have a teaching cd by T. D. Jakes about potho...

Our 2nd annual Princess party was a great success. A great BIG thank you Cathy Kerns! I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you to those who filled up the sign up sheets and provided the meal. Even though these are little girls, they ate like grown men. I had no idea, I thought only boys did that, wow. Ivalene once again came through with a beautifully decorated table, she is so talented. Thanks Cheryl and Pat for keeping everyone informed through the bulletins. We had a total of 9 girls that were able to be there, 2 were from other churches and 4 were first timers. We had an amazing time talking about the Kingdom that they are heirs to. This year was completely differant from last year even though it was great too. There was such a presence of God. these girls know who they are in Christ. There was a "Warrior" atmosphere. So much so that I took pictures with each one holding a sword, no divas here! They are each so unique and I love them all. there is one wh...

It's been two months since my last post and truthfully it seems even longer. I've had things to say, just too tired, too lazy, and too this, that and the other. I love how God teaches me things and uses so many differant avenues to do so. My little dog , Haley still has her dew claws on her hind legs . Because of this she has six toes per foot. Anyhow, the little claws are getting hung in the rug. my clothes, and most recently the stitching on my bedspread. Each time she yelps and cries out in pure agony, It breaks my heart to here her in pain. I have tried to help her to unhang the claw, But she is so overcome in pain and panic that she bites me. She continues to thrash her body about and bite at nme until she gets free, Usually the nail breaks off . Ouch! When all is said and done there is slight bleeding and she is very careful with the injured foot for a day or so. Through it all I love her as best as she will allow me. The Lord reminded me that so often I do that....

The title says it all right now. I wonder why we pray and get excited about the prospect of church growth when we are not even realtional to the few we have now? Let me sweep my own doorstep first. I have missed many Wednesday night services and I have a host of excuses why I couldn't/woudn't make it. I can sum it up in a word , maybe two ...COMMITTMENT AND DEDICATION. I recently sent a quote to a friend from a book I am reading about a woman that lost a significant amount of weight. She said she didn't need a promise from another company about how their service and product could help her obtain nirvana . What she needed was a committment to herself. Is that what we need? Don't we have a committment to Christ? To each other? Why would God send us more if we are not caring for the few we have. Remember the talents? Have we invested in one another? I'll speak for myself, I haven't and I repent. What do you need? How can I serve? Seek and you shall find. I ...