Daughter of Troops

Well my kids just left for home. I always cry because I love them so much, I love being a mom! This has been a really great Christmas. We spent a lot of time just enjoying each other, playing games, talking, sharing our lives. It took our being relational to remind me I need to be more relational with God. I have gotten very relaxed and lazy in spending time with my Father. This holiday has in many ways been a reflection of the past 25 plus years of my life. I have made many bad decisions in my life. I'm not going to pound myself in the ground . God told me this year my Word is " GRACE " I need to embrace it. I have to have balance with it too, no pie in the sky stuff. Be real. I've made some vows in my head, I've made some decisions, in my head. That is the problem, they are in my head and I have not committed to any of them. I need a plan that I can be okay with and this is where it gets hard because I also have to trust God for the things I cannot figure ou

I was just reading some of my older posts. How sad that some things have not changed. I'm still extremely sad over the loss of my mother and my sister. I'm still battling demons of oppression . I'm still crying about my weight and feeling helpless to do anything about it. I am overwhelmed! I am so unhappy with many aspects of my life. I am literally at war within myself. Why do I do the things I don't want to do? Paul wrote that for me. As I turned to God in despair after dinner, I felt impressed to go get my old Bible, the one that is worn and has been to hell and back with me. I opened it up in Genesis and found this highlighted area in Chapter 4 v6 " Why are you so angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it." Now isn't that just like God. He is so amazing. This is difficult because I have once