Daughter of Troops

It's been a long time since my last blog, but I have had a lot going on. I just got through reading Bill Johnson's Supernatural Transformation of the mind for the third time. Each time God reveals more to me and I just "get it". I thank God for them. God reminded me that he told me break through is eminent ! I am trying to meditate on the Word more and walk in His Spirit & truth until it is a natural thing for me. Stephanie borrowed the book so we will be climbing buddies through this area. I thank God for her and our friendship

                                                                               Katie                                                                                Kylie                                                Kylie, Alexis, Ashton, Taylor, Katie                                                             Alexis                                                                            Ashton                                                                           Taylor The Princess Party was fabutastic (my new word).  The girls had such a good time and God sent just the right volunteers to get the job done!   We used some different worship music this time and the girls were able to move into the Presence of The Father. Ashton came to me and said she felt tears in her eyes during worship. I told her that was because she was in the Presence of our Great God and that is how how soul was responding to it.  I encouraged her to go deeper and she did. She later said her whol...

Today when I got to work there was a message on the answering machine. A customer proceeds to go on and on with profanity tucked in between every two or three words about his anger at us because his #$%@ gate code will not work and how mad he is at us that we lied because he is not able to get in after office hours and blah, blah, blah.  I reviewed the gate reports and sure enough he tried to get in, but he was putting in the wrong code , he was one number off.  I love it when it's not our fault.   I promptly returned his call and said "hello, this is Rhonda at Stor & Lok and I understand you had a problem with your code over the weekend" (snickering under my breath) Yes I did and so did another car but they got it to work and then my code started working. "Yes Mr. @#$& I noticed on my code report that when you used the right code it began to work. "  He began to clear his throat and then profusely apologize for the foul message he left proclaiming he w...

We need one another.   We are created to have relationship with one another. God Himself created man to have relationship with and we being made in His image have this innate yearning to belong. The Bible calls us ministers of reconciliation.   The word reconciles means to reestablish, restoring relationship better than it was before. 2 Corinthians 5:17-21 I had a brief opportunity to restore a relationship with my mother before she passed away.   I think I grew to love her more the last month of her life than I had in my entire adult life.   So, how do we do that? How can you be restored to someone who has brought you great pain?   Here it goes, it ’ s profound!   “ Do not count men ’ s sins against them. ”   It is so easy to wallow in our own pain and get covered in bitterness, disgust, hate for the acts of another person. How many times have I said how could you, I would never do that.   I become the judge and I forgot that Jesus took all judgments on the cross.   I have re...

Today is a very sad day for our family. Mother passed away this morning.  Yesterday she had a bad reaction to some pain meds and that was horrible. I did not recognize her as she lay there .  She could see her grandmother and she was asking her to help her. She kept saying help me  grand-momma.  She was also calling for her own momma.  She would grab mine and Susan's hand and say make "holly golly go away."  We figured out she was talking about the pain. We told it to leave and she agreed it needed to go.  She was very child like and I believe she was a little girl in her mind.  I thank God for letting me see the innocence of her youth. She looked so sweet at times and would just smile so big. Her smile was truly captivating.  Today Susan and I got to be with her as she passed from this world. We know she is in heaven right now. That is price less to know that she is saved.  I will miss her !  She was the best mother she could be and I'm glad she gave me life.  She ...

My mind is so bogged down with thoughts that I'm not even sure were to begin.  I am OVERWHELMED ! Issue # 1  Today the doctor recommended mom for Hospice care. They came in and basically told me how to prepare for her death, how to say good bye.  I cannot wrap my mind around that right now.  She is saved and has peace with God, but it's not fair.  I'm clinging to hope for the life of a woman that I built so many walls around my whole life. I've blamed her for a lot of things that I became as I grew up. I have ask her to forgive me and she does and so does God but I'm sick with anguish over the whole situation. I saw myself feeling this way about dad. Now the way I sometimes feel about dad are unfamiliar.   Did I ever really know my parents ?  A lot of times I was mad at mother for certain things and felt like she was being difficult, sometimes she was but now I know sometimes she was covering for dad. Protecting his saintly persona. Just like me and just like Susan ...

I was thinking today about how I have been feeling lately. I got a visual of an ocean and I'm standing on the beach. I want to escape so I run as hard as I can towards the ocean .My speed and momentum take me out quite a ways then as I slow down I realize I am walking on quicksand not water and now I'm really far into it and cannot make my way back to the sand.  I feel completely out of control of my life. I need a life line before I'm in over my head.

God has been pouring some things into me these past two weeks. Some I haven't quite pulled together, other things are crystal clear.  I've made some decisions in my life that were not always the will of God, some things I tried to fix myself because we all know how intelligent I am. (right?)  I have a habit of believing that I have messed things up so much that God will no longer need or want me around. I try to fix it and it often ends up worse.  I felt I had broken my relationship with God because of  1. marrying Kevin, 2. taking time off from children's church, 3. having some bitterness over my life where my parents are concerned and  just not spending enough time doing religious things (I'm totally being sarcastic here).  I have repented . A few days ago I told the Lord I was soooo sorry for breaking our relationship, He spoke one word to me, " fractured " . Okay, lets look at that word, it is a form of being broken, but a fracture is still attached, it is...

Today church was so good. We were instructed to invite God to speak. The first time I heard Him say, "I love you". I so need to hear that over and over again.  After the teaching, we waited again to hear from God.  He is so faithful.  There are times when I feel like I'm not effective in my walk and at times I have thought what is the use because this person doesn't "get it" and I sometimes act the way he would understand instead of the way my heart desires. I'm not sure if that makes sense. Anyhow, God spoke to me this morning and said Rhonda, you know that Kevin buys you perfume to wear because he likes the way it smells, but when you wear it he rarely acknowledges that you have it on. And sometimes other people will say what is that perfume your wearing, it smells so good and you think to yourself that you can't even smell it.  Well, that is what it is like to walk in the ways of the Lord, maybe you don't notice it but others do. Just because ...

Well, Christmas came and went. Chris came down and we had a wonderful visit and met Walker, the new grand dog. This has been a year of up's and downs, Thankfully more ups. My sister is saved and healed in the name of Jesus. Her hair is already growing back and will be even more beautiful then when it left ! My parents, well..I'll get back to that one. I got remarried in July to the man I married 20 years ago and divorced after 12 years . It was the right thing to do both times ! I have a beautiful new home and I'm happy. I'm ready for some changes in 2009...mainly with getting myself healthy!!! God revealed some things in my heart to get it healthy spiritually. I'm going to let go of bitterness, resentment and disappointment. I'm going to quit reopening old wounds and set free those I've held hostage in my emotional prison. God reminded me that I have the keys and the authority to open and close any door necessary. I'm ready to let God meet my ...

A few thoughts I've been pondering....... Why do people pull out at an inter section. look and see me headign their direction and wait till I'm almost at their spot to pull out in front of me. Is it more challenging to them to see how close a casr can get without getting hit? Why is it that when there are two lanes and one is ending and I need to merge the person next to me takes it as a personal challange to keep me from merging in front of him/her ? Why have I found my hand in the windshield forming the "L" (for loser) with my fingers more this month then in my entire life combined ? Why is it that when I call certain people, regardless of how long it's been since I've called or what time it is, they always act annoyed that i've bothered them? Why do I allow people to manipulate me ? Why are people so mean? Why do I post these stupid blogs that no on responds to? (Except for Cyndee)

I read some other blogs with want lists. It got me to thinking about what I want . so just for the sake of blogging, here is my want list: 1. Kevin to be a man of God....sold out for the kingdom 2. My son to return fully to God....to have a yearning for the ways of the Father 3. My sister complely healed..no more chemo! 4. My parents to be healed and made whole 5. My nephew's return from Iraq 6. My extended family members saved 7. The fire I have for the Father to become a raging, ravenous flame 8. Stor & Lok to prosper 9. Frank & Louis saved 10. I ask for the nations 11. My body and mind to be healthy 12. Fat gone from my body 13. To be debt free 14. A baby 15. Joy 16. My teeth fixed 17. Conatcts, better yet, my vision healed 18 A treadmill 19. An Apple computer and an IPhone 20. To win the 96 million lottery jackpot!

Yesterday Kevin and I went to Ft. Worth for the day. While I was in the shower I just began to thank God for things that would come to my mind. After a few moments I was over joyed in praising Him and I sang a love song in the Spirit to Him. It was so beautiful and I am in awe of the Holy Spirit and His wonderous love of the Father. Afterwards I was sitting at the vanity area putting on my makeup and I was still very much in the presence of God. The Holy Spirit prompted me to pray and prophesy. It was so powerful, I was weeping uncontrolably and proclaiming healing and freedom and victory and salvation for differant people. I don't think I have ever prayed that way. The Holy Sprit can say things I certainly could never think of. This went on for about 20 minutes. Afterwords I felt such a peace and a release of supernatural confidence came on me. As I thanked Him I heard a noise in the closet and then I heard Kevin say Amen. lol We have a large walkin closet and he had been in there...

About this time last year I adopted a rat terrier named Haley. She brings me so much joy most of the time. Kevin has a fox terrier named Casey. She is about 15 years old and is completely deaf. There is the usual sibling rivalry between the two. The power struggle for who will be the pack leader is clearly won by Haley. She has to be the first in and out the back door, the first to get her dinner bowl and her treat. Casey willingly submits and is just content on getting her dues whether she's first or not. Haley is so jealous any time she thinks Casey is getting more attention. She has stooped (squatted) to a new level and will occasionally pee on the floor to mark her territory. I'm glad God made people differant and we can just use permanent markers to write our names on our stuff. Any how, like I was saying, it isn't often but she has earned a reputation . She usually pees in front of the bedroom door or the hall entrance to keep Casey from entering those areas. There ha...

It seems like lately that I'm stuck in a tornado. The debre flying around me has cut me, at times deeply. And I have found myself wondering how can I duck and miss getting hit when I can't even control standing. I'm wondering where I will land when I'm flung (is that a word ?) out of this whirlwind. My parents are both ill. My dad is in the Big Springs VA hospital and they can't seem to get the infection under control. He has pneumonia. My sister is amazingly going through her struggles with the power of God. I have felt a lack of confidence to say the least in the ability to pray for myself. I tell people all the time that it is okay, I pray for people all the time but hardly for myself. Today I read someone's blog (thanks Brandi) and she quoted a scripture that God used to speak to her. She posted it, I read it and God spoke to me. "In the past you have encouraged many a troubled soul to trust in God; you have supported those who were weak. Your wo...

CAN I QUIT ?

Today is just a blah day. I have this overwhelming sadness that I cannot explain. Here lately it feels like I've been attached to a bungee cord with my emotions. Extreme highs and lows. I can't seem to find a middle ground. I feel mentally exhausted. It has been a really long time since I have been in the place, but I pray the pass through will be quick. I do not wants to camp out in this place. The longer I stay, the harder it is to leave. I'm filthy from wallering in this pit of self pity. I feel invisible............

What a crazy weekend! Saturday finally arrived and I was thrilled to be off work and able to do what ever I felt like and needed to do. I decided when I woke up that I would schedule to get my hair cut, just a cut, you know simple and quick. I called and my hairdresser is on vacation but since I'm on a mission I decide that it doesn't matter and I'll let someone else cut it. So I said oh, okay well just whoever you have available. God how I wish I could take those words back. So I arrive at the mall at noon, my appointment is at 1:00 so I knew I could do some shopping. I found a new outfit and headed for the salon. The girl took me right away to her styling station and I explained that I just wanted some dead ends trimmed off. Then she proceeds to tell me what bad shape my hair is in and how the highlights are faded and how horrible it is and blah, blah, blah and by the time she's done I'm getting a trim and a colored rinse. I choose a lovely shade of brown. While s...

Yesterday I went to church in Clyde at KLF with my sister and my BFF . It was such an amazing time. The worship was OMG and the teaching was anointed. The folks there are just real people that love Jesus. My sister gave her testimony in front of hundreds of people and I am so proud of her. God is so awesome! She said she feels so loved there and I'm thrilled for her. Every time I go there I feel so stirred up and ready to jump in and do at Bethel what I feel inside. I have such a desire to do BIG things in KIDS church and I plan on breaking down some walls and religious barriers in the mighty name of Jesus. God has great plans for those children. I was praying about it yesterday and whining to God that I feel weak in certain areas. He reminded me that He is my strength and that I am lion hearted. It felt good to hear Him say it again. I think since it is my e-mail and I see it so much that my spirit had become dulled to it's meaning and to the fact that God himself gave me ...

OK , miracle #1 was my sisters salvation. #2 the results of the bone scan. The Dr. says it has to be a miracle! There is no cancer anywhere else in her body and other than the mass on her lung , her lungs are clear. Her bones are strong and slight arthritis in the shoulder area. Nothing is impossible for God!!! We are believing that when she goes for the next kemo (sp)treatment in 3 weeks that the X=ray will show her lungs clear. Yesterday she was admitted into the hospital for the 1st treatment. She said she knew that there were many angels surrounding her. She could sense them. isn't that awesome. Yes it is! I praise the Lord God almighty. He is Jehovah Rapha. He is the great Physician. We rejoice in the healing of Susan at the hand of the Master. Glory to his marvelous Name.