Do you recognize me ?

When I went to post this I looked back to see when my last post was. It had only been three days but I was so sure it was over a week. Things have been "wild" in my life. I know that God is doing a work in me and He is removing things that have to go in order for me to have more room for Him. The exposing part has been difficult and at first I didn't recognize what was happening. The day before yesterday I found myself standing in front of my bedroom mirror and I looked and said "Who are you?" I don't even feel like myself because of the attitude I've had. My emotions have been all over the place like a racket ball in an agressive match. As I write that line I realize it is a match between my flesh and the Spirit. I have been so grouchy and negative towards my self and others. One person in particular I felt sure was justified, but this morning the Lord in all His mercy showed me otherwise. He said Rhonda, you all have choices, what you choose is up to you. When someone else does something contrary to what you believe to be the right thing it is still their choice. Okay Lord I understand that, but the thing this person does will cause ______(fill in the blank for yourself). He said "And..." Well Lord it makes me so mad because than if they do ____ I will have to ___. " So Rhonda, what your saying is that it is more about what effect this person's choice will have on you rather than the choice itself". Well, yes. Wow, I didn't see that one coming. I'm mad at this person's choice because of it's effect on me. Basically I'm mad at them because it will make me uncomfortable to say "No". The spirit of intimidation doesn't like me to to say no. It wants me to stay in bondage. What if they get mad, what if they reject me, what if.... " Rhonda, what if you stop bowing to the god of fear, to the spirit of rejection and intimidation. What if you keep your eyes on Me and serve Me only. What if you were that free. What would your life look like? How would people then see you? Why not let Me be Me and allow yourself to be molded into the woman that I see you as, that I created you to be. Why not let others make the same decisions for themselves so that they can grow as well. When you interfere by trying to figure out a better way that suits you, you are also hendering that person from growing and changing. Stop it! With all humility and humbleness I answer, yes, Lord. I repent for trying to be Holy Ghost Jr. You are God and do not need my opinion or my attitude. I ask for forgiveness and I thank you for great grace and mercy. I repent for jealousy, self loathing and for listening to the lies of the enemy. I 've always heard if you truly love something let it go and if it is meant to be yours it will return to you. Letting go can be very difficult whether it is letting go of someone and allowing them to fail or succeed or an attitude or even a way of doing things. Father knows best is an understatement and it seems so simple. It is that simple, I make it hard when I stop trusting Him. When all of this is done and it will be; I will again stand in front of the mirror and say "Who are You" the differance from the first time will be the smile on my face and the strength of my faith and the image of my heavenly Father reflecting from my heart.