Daughter of Troops

This morning I was awakened by my sweet little dog. Normally when the alarm rings she goes futher under the covers. Not this morning, she was wide awake and insisted that I do the same. She was nuzzeling her head into my face and trying to give me kisses. I sucessfully blocked them. I got up and let her out back where she ran and leaped and was so happy and full of life. I thought how in the heck does someone do that first thing in the morning and finally just signed it off to her youth. Now as I sit here I started thinking about it again. She is so happy to see me at lunch and in the evening. She is content with her life! She knows she is loved and wanted . It's not so much that she is young and full of energy, but she is living. I am too! I sometimes give myself the excuse that I'm to old for certain things or it's too late. No! Jesus said, "Choose life". Things are moving along with Kevin, I see major changes yet I am guarded. You know, fool me once....

God is faithful. My neice that I wrote about on one of my blogs, the one that was in the hospital and God healed her. Well, she has an older sister . The older had a child and is expecting another. She has made bad choices and as far as I know has never gone to church or spoke of God. Anyhow, she has been considering an abortion because the "donor" is abusive and has many, many problems. She called me to ask what she should do. Now, I'll back up a little and show you how God works. The sunday prior to the phone call, Kevin (my Ex) was on vacation and wanted to go to church. He prefers Baptist so I agreed to go to Beltway. It just so happened that it was the sanctity of human life week so the entire message was about abotion and what the bible had to say about the subject. When we left Kevin said well, I'm not sure that was revelant for us but maybe there is a reason we were here for this service, maybe it is for those girls. So when she called me and told me ...

Tonight's meeting was so good. I left there feeling cleansed and refreshed. During prayer the Lord led me to Proverbs 2:1 " My son, if you receive my words and treasure my commands within you so that you incline your ear to wisdom and apply your heart to understanding." Verse 6: "From His mouth came knowledge and understanding." Proverbs 3:19 "The Lord by wisdom founded the earth. By understanding He established the heavens" We have been talking about how we talk, what we speak and taking back what has been stolen. Our words are so important. Each of these verses points to us taking action. If you receive my words, action is implied. To receive it you must read it, hear it, speak it and treasure it to the point that His word is all we hear and to apply His word is to speak His word. His spoken word brings knowledge and understanding v6 says it came from His mouth! By His wisdom and His understanding he founded the earth and established the...

Today I took down the Christmas decorations. I have many, many ornaments and little treasures each with their own box. Placing each one in it's own space to protect it and keep it safe for the following years . It was quite a task. As I was taking ornaments off the tree I was trying to do so in the most efficient way I thought possible. I wanted to take all the larger boxed ornaments first so they could then go into the storage box first. I had done several when I found the box for the "fish in the tank" from Hallmark. I looked all over that tree twice and could not see that particular ornament. I stood there staring trying to bring it into my view, it did not happen. When I was almost done I spotted it....it was right in front of me the whole time. I looked there and it was not on the tree. The Lord used this to minister to me. He said, " You know Rhonda that you get so over whelmed when you look at the bigger picture, If you would just take one thing at a time a...

Last night I put on my favorite old and tattered night gown and sat to watch T.V. As I sat there I thought about how ugly the gown was and how I should throw it out after all, I do have others. It is thin and gray from so many washings, the V part of the V-neck looks more like a U, the ties for the bow were long ago chewed off, yes by me! There on the belly are two one inch long black marks made from a permanent marker. That marker is amazing because those things never fade. I started thinking about how marker got on my night gown and remembered that I was wearing it one night and doing a projcet for kids church. I love teaching the children, they have made a permanent mark on me. It has never faded and although there are days that I look a little gray, tattered, washed out and torn , that mark does not go away. Like the gown each time I put it on, it is fresh and a perfect fit. Yesterday I felt a bit overwhelmed because I still had not put away the donations left over from the Christm...

I have 2 neices and a nephew from my ex-husbands brother. These kids have had horrible lives, both parents alcoholics and drug addicts. The nephew is in a home for boys and both neices 17 and 20 have a child and are now pregnant with another. Neither are married and both have boyfriends that do not work and are abusive. All three chidren have been abandoned . They have never been in church. The younger neice is in the hospital and I went to see her a couple of days ago. She had an abcessed tooth that has caused her tounge to swell out of her mouth and the gums are swollen over the teeth and her neck is huge! She cannot eat and can barely talk . While there I ask her if I could pray for her and explained how God loves her and wants to heal her. She said she was hoping that I would cause her nanny had told her how I always pray for the family. I laid hands on her and prayed for her healing and commanded the toxins in her body would to leave. I ask God to let it be a witness to Jen...

I can't believe it's been over a month since my last post. I have been so busy. Thanksgiving has been great. Chris got to come home and spend a few days here. Even though many family members did there own dinner this year, they still came by the parents house to greet one another. It was so nice! I have a funny to share....it is no great secret (except to her) that my mother can be quiet overbearing and difficult to get along with and spend a great deal of time with. Every family gathering brings me to think how long will I stay and how will I get out quickly and unscathed. We were sitting at the table and I left the room along with my cell phone; something I rarely do. While I was out of the room a dear friend called me. Just a side note about this friend, she got a word last year that her words would be like sweet golden apples. ANYHOW ...the phone rings and my mom answered it in my absence it went something like this: Mom: hello Friend: Do you need a reason for an esc...

Tuesday night God spoke through Vaughn Clark with the following message: "You need to breath fresh air in the Spirit. Take a deep breathe. Your one of those ladies that when you came in, you came in. And it was like here I am, your what I've got and I'm going with you Jesus. Don't let the enemy disappoint you and take you down. Don't let him put you off to the side. You have got to learn to walk in peace with people and do what you do because God has told you to do it. Be grateful for encouragement you have from other people, but don't let hindrances from other people stop you. You just be on about it. You have to be constant and immovable in the work of the Kingdom. When you've got help and encouragement from others, thank God for it, but when you have blockages from other people don't let it wear you out. You just go on about your Father's business ."

I was just thinking about when you get something new, when does it become old. Does a new car still seem new after the new car smell is gone? Does having a newborn wear off after the 5 th dirty diaper or the 50 th ? How do you go from being I can't keep my hands off you in love to don't even think about breathing the same air as me? When will I or did I become old ? Remember being a new Christian, everything was exciting and expected. So believeable . I couldn't wait to tell people about Jesus and I couldn't get enough church. Even as I type this blog, it is getting old. The Bible is old, yet in it there is a fresh revelation, a refreshing of the Spirit. God says, "That which has been is what will be, That which is done is what will be done. And there is nothing new under the sun." Ecc . 1:9 Lam. 3:22 says His mercies are new every morning" I'm so glad! Rev. 21:5, He proclaims, "Behold, I will make all things new". I am a new creation; o...

Well, it's nearly 1:00 am and here I sit, wide awake and sick as a dog. Friday's doctor visit has left me in a lot of pain and something is making me sick to my stomach and I feel a bit dizzy. I can here the wind howling outside. I think it makes the same sound as a lonely heart that cries out for love. It sounds so desperate, so deliberate, so torn. Anyhow, on an up note, the new car is fabulous!!! I'm so thankful.

Tomorrow I am getting a new car. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. The Lord worked out a great plan for payments and it it a 2007 model. Saturn Ion with 6500 miles and a warranty I have never had a car so new and I know God is the reason for it. Thank You Father! On another note, I've been less enthused about blogging. I guess I thought it would fill the void I needed for being relational. Not so. Someone elese wrote about the same thing in their space and said a blog cannot smile, or hug you or wipe away a tear or ask how you are spiritually and then pray for you. I agree, so in that sense I'm disenchanted. I'll still continue with it thought because it is a journal of my days on this earth. So, tata for now.

My last blog was from a very dark place that I allowed myself to go to. Thanks for all who prayed and I'm sorry for those I scared. I am okay and the day is brighter. I am an overcomer by the word of my testimony and the blood of Jesus! Anyhow, all is well with my soul. This Sunday will be the first of our new series. Wall watchers, remember to pray. Because of what has been happening in my personal life I can only imagine what God has planned for the kids. Satan has certainly tried to fight me, what a loser! I'll write more later, I just wanted to get this out there in blogville. Love you all....

It's been a few days since last post. I haven't been sleeping very well; legs ache. Three night ago I had a vivid dream. I was walking down a dirt road as I walked, there were words written on the road. It said "The road to Damascus is a hard road to travel." I'm still pondering it, but thought it was certainly blog worthy. My body is weak and I'm tired. I've had a lot of random thoughts and today this poem came out. It is untitled: What's right? What's wrong? Living is dying! My heart is torn and bleeding, It has dripped and created a pool. Wet, deep and slippery. I'm slipping. I'm falling. Where? In love? In danger? Into a trap? Loneliness is stealing away all reason. Common sense--long ago stored away and stacked in a corner covered by cobwebs of deceit and betrayal. Trust--What? Whom? The unknown The unseen Where is faith? Misplaced?

This has been the longest week. It seems like a whole month. I am drained! This week my emotions have been all over the radar, but I feel like today I have finally harnessed them to a controllable place. I'm still not sleeping well, but today I bought some Tylenol P.M. to help that little thing out. On a positive note, today I paid off a debt. ya- hoo . that's one closer to being debt free. Then, at the risk of coming off like a complete pysco , I'll be more transparent in an effort to be more relational. Today I'm strong and so over Kevin.. I'm done ! He showed up at the job a couple of days ago and said he wanted me to go out with him as friends but I had placed conditions on it and messed everything up as usual. He said why do you want to make things so hard? What? Excuse me? I only ask him to surrender his life to Jesus. Anyhow, today I just have this "knowing" that he has a girlfriend. Usually when things start to go awry in his relationshi...

Please pray for workers in the children's ministry. I'm not looking for a "break" from teaching. I'm looking for a team. I love being back there with the kids, but there are some things that do work better if there is one or two more people. I have a hard time leading worship, putting on the over head transparency and playing the CD. It can be done, but it takes up more of the precious little time I have to minister. I can't operate the puppets and interact with them. I want people hungry for God not just looking for a way to "get out of" the morning service. I want people that come to church on a regular basis and are in proper authority in the church and in their personal lives ; people that love kids and love Jesus. Today I was asking, "did I miss hearing from God ?" I know what He has placed in my heart for the children. I do know that the devil would love to stop that seed from going forth, but he can't in the Name of Jesus! ...

Well, it happened. Today my ex-husband called me at work. He wanted to take me out to dinner and just be friends. Sounds innocent enough right? Wrong! Two weeks ago he stopped me in a parking lot of a business I was going into. He begged, he cried, he apologized and as always he promised. He had learned and now after twenty years of knowing me he realizes the err of his ways and can't live without me. Before you judge me and think I'm heartless, there is a history that I'll tell you in person if your interested. You see the problem is, I still love him. He is not a follower and tries to control my participation in church as well as everything else in my life. When he called today my emotions went crazy. My flesh wanted to say yes. Yes, I'll go to dinner with you and then after that let's go get remarried and then we can live in my new house that God gave me and be happy for the rest of our lives. That is my fairy tale. I told him finally I would have to think a...

I know usually most people try to stay out of hot water. But I'm pround to say that I now have hot water and was so happy to be in it this morning! Tomorrow is the doctor visit, hopefully the last one! I don't feel any panic or fear though. The Lord has been faithful time and again concerning any pain and I know He will not fail this time. This morning my co-worker said," you just like the sound of that bell don't you? He was referring to the necklace that Markie, Roy & Tiffany got me. It is hand crafted and called an Overcomer's Bell. I do like the sound of it. It reminds me that I am an overcomer! I wasn't aware that I ring it a lot, but I do. It's like the Lord whispering to me. When the wind blows, the chimes on my deck make a beautiful noise. The wind is like the Holy Spirit stirring something and causing it to sing out. That's what it was created to do. So the bell stirs me and makes me sing out " I am an overcomer!

Last night came and went and turned into morning. I know because I couldn't sleep and I watched the departure of yesterday and the entry of today. I hope I will be alert today. Tonight is church and in the wee hours of the morning I thought , "oh well, you can come home and just go to bed." The thought was so inviting. Then I remembered the leadership meeting Sunday night. Kim made a statement about Wednesday nights and how people just treat it like a day off or like church doesn't matter. Ouch, I've been found out. I have been guilty of that here lately, so I will go to church tonight. Thanks Kim (no, I mean it) Another thing I thought of was my last blog. To my horror I realized I went from talking about sodas to milk shakes. As I replayed it in my mind I thought, "what was I thinking?" So, I just wanted you all to know that I know. (hee-hee) Oh ya, one more thing, the most important thing! My son texted me yesterday and said we should all refer to hi...

Today I was saddened and shocked. I found out that a can of soda has 5 teaspoons of sugar in it. Then the whammy ; that is the equivalent of four doughnuts. Yes ladies, I said four. It was bad enough to know about the teaspoons of sugar, but then they had to go and give me a visual so I thought I would share my grief with those I love. When I was in the hospital Kim and Barry brought me a chocolate shake at my request. Now I'll have to remember how good it was. Had I known,I would have traded for the Krispy Kremes . Such sorrow.... On another note, today my hot water heater died and went to that big boiler room in the sky. My mom and my sister were at my house while I was at work because my sister very graciously mowed my lawn for me. (It looks so pretty!) Here's my list of thankful's: * I'm thankful they were there, otherwise my floors would have been ruined by water damage. * I'm also thankful because Aaron said he could put a new one in for me. A savin...

For the last couple of days I've talked with several friends that are experiencing new things with their children. It made me go back and reflect on my own experiences. I remember how rejected I felt when Chris didn't want to sit with me, he wanted to sit with his friends and he quit sharing things with me and then I found out he was sharing them with a girlfriend. I remember thinking, how dare she take my place like that! Then I remember the Lord showing me the other side of it. If we have been successful as parents our children are supposed to grow up and leave home. When Chris wanted to hang out with his friends and I wasn't "cool" anymore, the Lord said, good job Rhonda, you've taught him how to be a friend. When he shared his secrets with Kendra, the Lord said, you taught him to trust and to love. When he spent money taking a friend to the movie rather than me, you've taught him to be generous and to be a giver. Every single thing the enemy tried...